Sunday, August 17, 2014

Date Night: Haywood-Style

Way back...before Kayla started elementary school and before Colin was born...I was working full time and had started a side business selling PartyLite Candles.

To help me juggle the paperwork-side of the business, Pierce started taking Kayla on scheduled "dates." That way, I knew she was having quality time with her dad and I could focus on business while they were gone and be more attentive when they came back home.

At the time, the dates probably consisted of dinner at McDonald's and maybe a visit to the local book store.

As time went on and our family expanded, "date night" became part of our family's tradition. When life was over-planned yet predictable, there was actually a schedule where Pierce would take Kayla out the first week of the month, Colin the second week of the month, and me the third of the month. The other week(s), Pierce got some time to himself ;-).

Now that life is completely booked and totally out of our control, both kids tend to think immediately of a date with dad on the rare night they don't have anything planned. We don't really keep track, so it may happen more than once a month, or a little more than a month between dates. But they still happen.

Pierce & Kayla enjoy trying a new dinner spot based on Kayla's recommendation. They'll often end up strolling through a pet store afterwards.

Pierce & Colin "wing it" based on Colin's mood.

Pierce & I? We get a date night EVERY WEEK now! Since January, Saturday has been our date night, unless there is a conflict. Our "go-to" is Applebee's. We sit at the bar, order dinner & drinks, and play "hockey" (a simple card game taught to us many years ago.) We have ventured elsewhere on occasion because of other plans coinciding with date night, or a couple to another restaurant ;-). Sometimes we'll go exploring afterwards, other times we'll head home to watch something on TV.

I am really proud of Pierce for instilling this tradition in our family, and hope it continues to years to come. As long as either kid is living near by, I think that making this effort to stay connected is invaluable.

What about Family Time? Every week! Family dinners are getting hard between work and sports. But every Friday the kids know we'll be home, likely order pizza or pick something up, and just relax. If they have other plans, that's ok; but they know we'll always be home on Friday night and they'll often chose to hang with us.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Neighbors: Bill & Lillian

We have been blessed by some pretty remarkable neighbors...

Our first apartment was in a house owned by Lillian. Lillian had a boyfriend named Bill who spent most of his time at Lillian's house. This was also where they ran their pre-cast business.

Our apartment was in the back of the house, so we'd see Bill & Lillian all of the time as we came and went walking past their business in the garage and such.

Over time, we got to know each other really well. They were pretty much our only friends in the Albany area other than coworkers, because we knew we weren't going to be there long and weren't interested in "planting roots." They gave us a bureau for our wedding which we still use & enjoy today.

We ended up living there for about three years. After moving from that apartment to Richmond, we continued to keep in touch via Christmas cards, but that's about it.

A few years ago we were travelling from the Pierce's family in northern NY to visit friends in the Hudson Valley. We drove through Albany and were going to drive right past the apartment. 


On a whim, we pulled into the parking lot, I knocked on Lillian's door, and she immediately recognized me. It was an awesome "homecoming"! We only stayed a few minutes but were able to introduce Lillian to our children, hear how she was doing, fill her in on our lives, etc. Unfortunately, Bill had developed dementia and was in a nursing home. That was really sad to hear as they had plans to move to Florida at some point and were such a terrific couple. I think they were both first generation immigrants, Lillian from France and Bill from Italy.

Road weary but full of smiles!

Our apartment was around back.
Former home of Turnpike Precast.
Fast forward Christmas 2013. I sent Lillian our annual Christmas card. Out of the blue, I received the nicest voice-mail from Lillian. She was so excited to see a picture of the kids and it was great to hear her French accent! I have saved that voice-mail and whenever I check my messages, I get to hear it again and again. It puts a smile on my face every time.


Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Ginny, Part 17: Our New Guardian Angel

There are moments in your life that change your behavior. Sometimes it subtle, and sometimes it's dramatic.

Do you remember how remarkably clear the blue skies were on September 11, 2001?


Every time I see clear blue skies, my mind goes back to that day. For a long time, the sight of an airplane in the sky also grabbed my attention and brought me back to that day. An airplane in flight still grabs my attention, but more reflective of how we've survived and thrived since the terrorist attacks.

Another example of this flashback is from when I was about 20 years old. I was driving my brand new car home from work and when I was involved in a pretty bad accident. My car was rear-ended by a pick up truck which pushed me into the car stopped in front of me and up onto the curb. I am always afraid of being rear-ended now and am quick to check my rear view mirror when coming to a stop. I'm more concerned about being rear-ended than rear-ending the car in front of me.


Well, ever since Ginny's accident, I've been very cognizant of the sky. Whenever it's bright blue with puffy white clouds, my thoughts go to Ginny. I envision her in the clouds. (The odd thing is, the sky on the day of her accident would have been overcast.)

On our road trip to Florida, there were many expanses of blue skies with puffy white clouds, so I had a lot of conversations with Ginny. I told her that I missed her and knew she'd be watching out for our house if she were still here. I felt like she was traveling with us and asked her to watch over us. I felt comforted knowing she was aware of our travel.

Sure enough, we ran into problems. We were in a congested area along I-95 and Kayla was driving when she noticed that the Tire Pressure warning light came on. We told her to pay attention to any repetitive noises or vibrations on the steering wheel, which began immediately. Kayla had to maneuver the car across three lanes and safely into the shoulder, which she did swiftly. Pierce got out of the car and inspected things; all four tires appeared fine and there was nothing concerning under the car. He took over the driving and got back on the highway.

We immediately heard what could best be described as a flapping sound coming from the tire directly behind me. Luckily, there was an exit just ahead and we were able to leave the highway safely. And, luckily there was a gas station with an air pump right at the bottom of the exit ramp. Pierce pulled the car in, got out, and could immediately see that the tire was low. Upon close inspection, we couldn't find the cause.

Pierce went to try to put some air in the tire only to discover the machine required four quarters. Would you believe there was a quarter right next to the damaged tire?!?! Kayla had three to bring us to an even four. As Pierce went to start the air machine, I discovered a screw in the tire. Remember, we had both just looked closely but something made me look again.

I immediately Googled the nearest Firestone. It was 5:30pm and Robert at that Firestone told me not to drive the car the 15 miles to his shop; that it wasn't safe. He referred me to Savannah Tire right around the corner from where we were but pointed out that they close at 6pm. Kudos to Robert for putting our safety first; he didn't have to refer us to another shop!

We hobbled the car over there slowly and carefully. The attendant wasn't optimistic: IF they could get it in and IF it was just the screw they MIGHT be able to patch it. If it wasn't patchable, they might not have the right tire in stock and the warehouse was already closed for the night. I asked him to be a little more hopeful.

He called in a mechanic who went right out to the car, pulled the tire off, and brought it in to show us.



We were very lucky! The screw in the tire was the least of our problems. We were fortunate that the tire hadn't blown out on the highway when we were going full speed! AND they had that exact same tire. The matching tire on the passenger side was beginning to show similar wear, so we went ahead and replaced both tires, using the only two they had in stock. And we were back on the road with two brand new tires by 6:20!

There are a lot of things that could have gone wrong. We could have had a terrible accident resulting from a blow out on the highway. We could have continued driving with a screw in the tire after filling it with air. We could have been stranded overnight waiting for the tire shop to open. But I'd like to think our guardian angel was watching over us, guided us to safety & help, let us know what the problem was, and allowed for a swift return to our journey. Thanks Gin!



Sunday, June 22, 2014

Peanut Butter!!!

I just finished making a batch of peanut butter chocolate chip oatmeal cookies...yum! Unfortunately, I had to scrape the peanut butter jar and didn't have the full amount for the recipe, but that's because I loved giving the girls peanut butter as a special treat. If they were here tonight, they probably would have gotten the remaining peanut butter, and I would have opted for chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.


 



Friday, June 20, 2014

Ginny, Part 16: Unexpected Thoughts

Maggie and I took our last morning ride today.

I find it amazing the way God puts unexpected thoughts into our minds. As pre-occupied as I've been the last 24 hours with all the "lasts" with the girls (last dinner, last cuddle, last ride, etc.) the thought on my mind on the way to 7-Eleven was how special Ginny Doyle was and how fortunate I was that God gave us Maggie to bring us together.

(This is just my personal perspective and could be all wrong.)

Ginny was the youngest of four children. I only know "her side" of the story, but it seems to me that people knew she had athletic talent early on.

It appears to me that the Doyle family was united in supporting Ginny in her athletic endeavors. I've heard stories of Joe & Ginny practicing tennis & basketball together. I imagine they followed Ginny to tournaments, etc. They all know women's basketball in detail and I assume that has a lot to do with Ginny's involvement in the program throughout her life.

Even as an adult, Joe & Mrs. Doyle especially continued to follow Ginny's career to the extent of staying in town for extended visits in order to see a number of her games...as a coach. They also traveled along the upper east coast for some of her games. Families support each other throughout life, but you must admit that was pretty extensive for adult children / siblings. As I've told Joe, my brother lives with me and I don't know nearly as much about him as he knew about Ginny.

University of Richmond also knew Ginny was special. Assistant coaches usually leave a program when the head coach moves on, but University of Richmond held on to Ginny through at least three head coaches.

The outpouring of support the family and we have received since her passing further shows what a special lady Ginny was.

So, I firmly believe that God brought Maggie into our lives so that I could experience and appreciate Ginny. As I've said over the past six weeks, I'd rather have known Ginny and gone through this pain than to have never known her. Ginny gave so much of herself to my family and we will never forget her. She has left an impact on each of us which we will carry on to others in her honor. Thank you God for crossing our paths.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Ginny, Part 15: Trust II Each Other

To me, trust is unspoken. It's a feeling. Sometimes it's earned, other times it's assumed until something happens to break that trust. It's like love. You're born into a family and the love is assumed. But you learn to love non-family as you get to know them. Somehow, the trust between Ginny & us was natural. Nothing was done to earn it, except maybe the promise to take care of Maggie. It was never questioned, either way. Neither one of us ever questioned whether we'd watch out for each other, each other's houses, and each other's families; it was just natural.

I can't say for 100% certain, but I really think that the first time I went into Ginny's house was to check on Maggie and I was by myself. I remember the first time I walked into her house and the feeling of amazement at how nice, "magazine"-perfect her decor seemed to be. I just figured she was a "bachelorette" with a busy lifestyle and this was where she landed when she was in town, but she really created a beautiful, warm & welcoming home. I was a mom living in suburbia working from home and my house never looked so good! She even had dining room furniture...we still don't!

Anyway, like I said, I think she literally handed me a key the first day she left Maggie to go to work and trusted me to go into her house, take care of her dog, and lock up when I left. Can you imagine? Yes, we lived next door to each other so she could certainly find me if something went missing, but talk about entrusting me with everything that's valuable to her!

And so it went...I'd got into her house a few times a day to let Maggie out of her crate, let her outside, play with her in the house, then do it all again in a few hours. As time went on Maggie graduated from the crate to a section of her kitchen, to the whole kitchen, to the downstairs, and finally to full reign of the house.

If Ginny was running late at work, she knew all she had to do was text me and we'd check on Maggie some more. I would check out the front door every couple of hours to see if Ginny was home from work yet and if she wasn't we'd go check on the Moo.

The trust went both ways. When Maggie started spending her days at our house, we gave Ginny a key to our house. If she got home and it didn't appear like anyone was at our house, she'd let herself in and get the dogs.

I knew best that Ginny trusted us when she'd be on the road. She'd go a day or two without checking in, because she knew the girls were well taken care of. But I could tell when she was ready to come home because she'd check in to see how her girls were doing. Of course, I'd shoot her pictures or text her stories whenever there was something cute or monumental to share.

Her last act of trust in us was on her last day. I saw Ginny on Wednesday. She told me that she & the girls were going to Philly for Mother's Day weekend and would leave on Friday. Pierce saw her on Thursday and thanked him again for mowing her lawn while she was away the previous weekend. Nothing was mentioned about the hot air balloon ride to either of us.

When I left for work that Friday morning, I looked toward her house like I always did (and still do), saw that her car was gone and figured they'd hit the road for Philly already. It wasn't until after work when I got on social media that I learned she was at the hot air balloon festival. She was supposed to go up in the balloon early that morning and they postponed it until the evening. As best as I can tell, she never came home that day. Her family has learned that she went to work.

Ginny would have typically texted me to let me know she had gotten up especially early, which meant that the girls were fed early. She would have typically texted me to let me know she'd be gone so long. But it appears that she was so distracted by the excitement and perhaps anxious about the adventure that she never reached out to me. She knew she could trust me to take care of the girls while she was away from home and didn't give it a second thought. I wish I could take care of them for her forever.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Ginny, Part 14: Trust I: Dogs

For years, Maggie would ride with me to 7-Eleven for my daily diet Coke fix. She'd stand at the passenger seat with her nose out the window and her hair slicked back from the breeze.

While she waited for me to come out of 7-Eleven, she'd clean up any crumbs in my car from the last visit, and then lay down in a sunny patch until I returned. She trusts me that all was well and I'd be back quickly.

When Lexi came along and once she settled down a bit, I tried to bring her along for the ride too. But as much as she'd beg to come, she'd cry the entire way to our destination. Lexi is inquisitive and wants to be part of everything, but she's a fraidy-cat and doesn't like change or loud things. Poor girl. A couple of days ago, when we got to 7-Eleven, she tried to squeeze out of the car beside me; that was my sign that she shouldn't come on these rides anymore. She was so afraid she was missing out on something that she didn't enjoy the journey.



So this morning I took Maggie on the ride. Poor Lexi wasn't happy; but I knew she wouldn't be happy if she came along either.

Anyway...the other part of this tradition is that when we got back to my house, I would let Maggie get out of the car unleashed. This was the only time she was allowed to roam in the front yard since the run in with the car in the street. Maggie pretends to have a hard time getting into the car or onto a couch, but when she's motivated, she'll totally take the risk and succeed. If there's a treat on the couch, she doesn't think twice of jumping up. And if there's a little freedom in getting out of the car herself, she's spry like a puppy.

So this morning, Maggie jumps from the seat to the floor of the car and out the door as soon as it's opened and she follows her predictable pattern. She runs right to the patch of the Delaney's property where their dog Lady typically relieves herself, and Maggie "marks her territory" after finding the perfect spot (BTW, what IS with the perfect for a dog who needs to pee? why do they have to sniff everywhere first?!?!) She then prances across their driveway, sniffing her way up their front walk and to their front door.

I follow close behind, but not chasing her I know that she has a plan. I trust her. And then, once she gets to the Delaney's front door, I tell her it's time to go home and she meanders beside me back to our house. She's such a good girl who just needs her fix of independence.

During this adventure today, I really reflected on the trust. I am not really an animal person. I think many animals are cute and all, but I have a hard time trusting something I can't communicate with. But Maggie and Lexi are so different to me. Since we've known them from such a young age, we've figured out how to communicate with each other.

They scratch at the back door when they want to come in or need to go out. They rattle their food bowls when they think it's time to eat, or slide their water thing when it's empty. They come running when we open the coat closet door because that might mean it's time for a walk, and their ears perk up when the treat cabinet is opened. When they're outside and hear the back door open, they know to come inside (usually) and when they don't come easily I know all I have to do is say "treat" or "walk" and they'll come running.




Seven years ago, Ginny entrusted my family with her dog and, unbeknownst to me at the time, introduced me to the trust between dog and human.


Thursday, June 12, 2014

Ginny, Part 13: Ginny the Neighbor

The hardest part of Ginny's death, for me, is that it's been so public and that all of the attention has highlighted Ginny the coach or Ginny the basketball player. And she was an amazing coach and a talented basketball player.

But I got to see the "natural" side of Ginny. I got to see her totally relaxed & overly stressed, sick & tired, and healthy & well. I got to see her being neighborly and shutting herself in to get things done or just be alone. I got to see her frustrated with things and ecstatic about others. In some ways, because of the arrangement with the dogs that meant we saw each other practically every day, she was almost like a sister.

I got to see Ginny down & dirty working in her yard. Ginny had a unique system. She would kind of let her lawn go, mainly due to her travel schedule, and then she would go gang-busters from dusk to dawn for an entire weekend bringing it back to immaculate. She was also known to mow her lawn in the dark; a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do, right?

If she's hearing my thoughts right now, she's laughing along with me at this memory. One day I was in my house and heard the most annoying sound. It was just this repetitive "cough" that made no sense whatsoever. I went outside and she was literally pushing her mower into the ground. That thing was so beyond it's prime and wanted to stall on her so bad, but she just kept making it work. You had to hear it to truly appreciate the lunacy of the moment, but it sounded like a really loud plane puttering out and then getting just enough juice for another push to the finish line. She upgraded to a self-propelled mower soon after.

There are two "islands" between our houses. One of them is on her property and the other is on ours. The tree in the center of our island died and we had it taken down but we never did anything to fill that plat of land. Ginny asked if she could maintain it (in other words, she didn't like a boring old island of dirt) and planted four bushes which will now be a forever memory of our dear neighbor. I'm kind of glad we were lazy about re-landscaping that patch of earth.

I got to enjoy the sounds of Innsbrook Afterhours in the backyard with Ginny. I remember playing badminton while Sugarland was performing. We also went to a couple of Innsbrook After Hours concerts together. I remember her blasting country music while doing yard work; I still liked her, even if I didn't like her taste in music ;-). She knew I had a thing for Bon Jovi and would let me know when he was performing on TV.

Ginny's wardrobe was predictable: she wore University of Richmond athletic gear 90% of the time. I'm pretty sure she owned 100 pair of Nike sneakers. I can only imagine house many UR sweatshirts & t-shirts are in her closet! She was a spider through and through. It's what she wore to work and what she wore for play.

I remember the first game we went to; I couldn't believe it...she was wearing a pant suit and had her hair down looking all professional. Some people have commented that they didn't recognize her in pictures media was posting right after the accident because they'd never seen her with her hair down. Ginny always wore a pony tail. I won't post it because it's upsetting to some people, but one of the very last pictures of her, going up in the balloon, actually makes me smile because I can see that tell-tale ponytail of hers.




Ginny loved Halloween. Most nights we'd never know what time she'd be home, but she was always home in time for trick-or-treating on Halloween. She always had the best candy and would set Maggie and then Maggie & Lexi up on the porch so they could see all the kids. We'd walk the whole neighborhood with Colin and then she'd let us take Maggie up to the veterinarian around the corner for a bone.

Ginny tweeted this picture in 2012 with the caption:
"wishing they could get out there and
trick or treat with all the kids!"


Ginny let me borrow this costume a couple of times...
such a fun memory!!!

Kayla (black mail) and Sharky...I mean Moo!

Ginny, Part 12: What are neighbors for? Sharing Recipes!

Neighbors watch out for each other.
Neighbors see you "at home"; a different perspective than anyone else.
Neighbors help each other.

Whether you're a "nosey neighbor" or not, you've probably picked up on some of your neighbors habits. Maybe they always put the trash out the night before, only mow their lawn every other week, tend to keep to themselves, or always offer a helping hand.

You may have neighbors who you've never met, or some that you talk to every day. You may have neighbors who you only know through social media despite their proximity to your house or a friendly wave as you drive off to work.

No matter, there is a special kinship about neighbors. When a fire truck goes down the road or an earthquake shakes things up, you all come together in your own way to lend support.

But, there are those neighbors you share a special bond with. And, so often, that bond includes FOOD! Come on...you know the image of borrowing a cup of sugar from a neighbor, right? Have you actually done it? We have! We've also shared some other food stories with our dear neighbor Ginny:

Ginny wasn't much of a cook.

Being a single woman, on the road so much, and working late hours, Ginny didn't do a lot of cooking for herself (until the last couple of years when she changed her diet.) It was kind of a running joke. I'd borrow her crock pots and have to dust them off before using them. We'd borrow her oven for holiday cooking and it was spotless from lack of use (except for the time she made Amish Friendship Bread and it overflowed ;-). )

Actually, Ginny WAS a cook, she just didn't do it often. But when she did, she rocked it! Ginny's "go to" recipe for a party was Buffalo Chicken Dip. Several years ago she tried it at a party, got the recipe, and made it her trademark. She was so excited about it that she just made it one day and brought it over to share. Then she started bringing it whenever we had a pre-planned gathering. One year, she made a batch just for Pierce for his birthday. And, of course, she made a batch for Kayla's graduation party last year. The recipe is common, but the love she put into hers made it special.

In the last year or so she picked up on a recipe for a dessert made with ice cream sandwiches. This stuff was so sweet and versatile...and she loved making it so much she even posted a picture:

"Desserts made for tonight's WBB team gathering. 
Heath, caramel ice cream cake and Oreo hot fudge ice cream cake."

I visited with Ginny's mother and brothers yesterday and Mrs. Doyle shared a recipe with me...I'm so excited to try...and so glad the tradition of sharing recipes continues!!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Ginny, Part 11: Whose Dog is Whose???

So, remember that Kayla is Maggie's primary doggie day care provider. My mother in law recently shared this memory:
I remember , Ginny telling story of her walking Maggie  in morning, meeting Kayla going to bus stop & Kayla getting on her knees to talk &  pet Maggie. She noticed the bond between them.
Maggie was a blessing. The pet Kayla always wanted.

But what happens when you add Lexi to the mix? Ginny wasn't about to let either dog lack attention and continued to spoil my family. Maggie became Colin's responsibility and Lexi became Kayla's responsibility. (But when spending the night, they both stayed together in Kayla's room.) And the dogs really bonded with their respectful caregiver, even though we all shared responsibilities.


Maggie was pretty content at either of our houses. Lexi was fine here but LOVED when Ginny would come to get her. It was a race to the door whenever Ginny would come to get them and ring the doorbell. As soon as the doorbell rang, both dogs would come from wherever they were.

Now, picking up two dogs is a little tricky, so Ginny & I made a game of it. Whichever dog made it to the door first got to see Mommy first. Lexi usually won. Whenever Lexi won, Maggie was pretty content to go back to what she was doing while Ginny & I would chat, but when it was time to go, she'd jump in Ginny's other arm and away they went. But on those rare occasions that Maggie won, I would have to grab Lexi and hold on tight or she'd jump out of my arms to Ginny!


And now they both shared the window which allowed them to keep an eye out for us.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Ginny, Part 10: Along Came Lexi

I've mentioned that Ginny always aspired to be a Head Coach. Through the years, she shared a couple of strong possibilities she pursued. There was a period of time where she seemed to be especially eager, but things were never quite right. I had the sense that she took this hard, and then she started talking about getting another dog.

Of course, at this point, it seems as though we're watching Maggie more than Ginny is because of her travelling, so she really felt us out about this idea. Our biggest concern was Maggie. She'd been queen of both houses for so long and wasn't really friendly with other dogs, so we wondered how she'd handle sharing her domain. But she was also five years old and could benefit from the energy of a younger playmate. So along came Lexi...


Maggie is a "Traditional Yorkshire Terrier" whereas Lexi is a "Tri-Colored Party Yorkie" 
which means she's got some white in her coat. 

How could you not fall in love with that little bundle of fur? And check out her tongue!
Lexi's tongue is literally too long for her mouth! Generally she manages with it, but when this girl is tired, that tongue can't help but slip out of her mouth...cutest thing ever!

Lexi definitely brought energy back into our houses! She is inquisitive, loving, and Maggie's biggest fan (as if there could be one more than Ginny!) Lexi is also the "annoying little sister" who gets in Maggie's face, taunts her with toys, and copies everything she does. Lexi is always underfoot, followed Ginny everywhere she went in the house & yard, and is scared of everything that makes noise. Where Maggie is very set in her ways, Lexi goes with the flow, lets us pick her up all the time, and even lets us hold her like a baby.

Maggie tolerates Lexi. Lexi literally gets right up in Maggie's face, even licking her beard; rumor has it that's a sign of submission, but I don't know about that. Maggie doesn't back off, but boy can she give Lexi a peace of her mind.
Ginny snapped this picture...she was pretty sure it was
the only way Maggie could get some peace in the beginning ;-).

Before Lexi came along, Maggie had a very bizarre way of eating. It was sad to watch, because she didn't seem to enjoy eating. She'd rub her nose on the floor by her dish and practically eat one piece at a time. The minute Lexi arrived, that all changed, and it's now a race to see which gets done first.





See how nicely they're playing with that yellow star toy? Here's how it really goes. Lexi, being the puppy of the family, LOVES to play with toys. Loves, loves, loves it. Maggie had long outgrown the toy thing. So here's what really happens when Maggie gets one Lexi's toys...

Before: Lexi's new alligator. After: Maggie pulled some teeth out of the alligator.


Quite honestly, I think they've gotten along best since Ginny's passing; perhaps they know they've got each other. Best buds forever.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Ginny, Part 9: Adventures with Ginny and Maggie

(This first one could be a bit gruesome for the faint of heart.)

The Snake Whisperer
Several years ago a developer built new houses very close to our backyards (not so close to take away from our woods & privacy, thankfully.) Apparently they disturbed some snakes during construction, because we saw an increase in snakes around our houses.

Maggie is so inquisitive that Ginny was really concerned a snake would bite Maggie*. So she kind of freaked whenever we found a snake in either of our yards and felt that the only safe recourse was to kill the snake**.

One of the first times this happened, she tried to use a shovel to kill the snake. A round tip shovel on grass & dirt, we quickly learned, was pretty much useless.

Pierce had this bizarre contraption that was a long stick with a metal tag, kind of like a hook; this became Ginny's trick of the trade, and it's probably still in her shed.

Watching Ginny's adrenaline rush when trying to do away with a snake showed us just what she was made of; when she set her mind to something, she wasn't going to stop until she achieved her goal, be it a record on the court or the death of a snake.

Ginny gained a reputation as the neighborhood snake catcher and I can still picture her walking down the street with this 6' long stick ready to rumble with any snake who crossed her path.

*Maggie actually did get bit by a snake several years later. This time the snake was under my shed and she was determined to get to it; it won, but Maggie recovered just fine.

**We learned in later years that black snakes are good as they keep other things out of our yards.

Baby Bunnies
Terriers are hunters. They have very strong sense of smell and are a bit obsessive when they get on the trail of something. If Maggie found a turtle in the yard, everyone would know about it by her incessant barking. She's found a few living things in our yards over the years. Her adrenaline rush is similar to Ginny's when someone says "snake!"

One year Ginny came over with a bucket. Inside the bucket were the tiniest, most fragile baby bunnies ever! Maggie had tracked them to the bottom of her deck steps and Ginny knew there was no way they'd survive with Maggie around, so we re-located them to our yard until they moved on.

One Lucky Dog!
In the beginning, we would bring Maggie out into our front yards to do her business. She wouldn't roam off, would just sniff around for the perfect spot, then come right back to us.

I'll never forget one particular evening. Ginny came home from a trip. She had just gotten out of her car when I came out our front door with Maggie. I put Maggie down and she ran right over to "Mommy" like so many other nights. But then, for some reason, she took a hard left turn, ran across the street, and up on the curb (where so many other dogs do their business.) Ginny went after her.

Ginny was frantically yelling for Maggie to stop so she could catch her, but Maggie was on the hunt for something. Then Maggie darted back into the street...as a car drove by...and all I remember is Ginny's screech "MAGGIE! NO!"

Maggie is so lucky. Since she is so low to the ground, she somehow managed to scoot under the car, between it's tires, and only skinned her knees.

That was the absolute end of Maggie's free roaming. Kind of.

On rare occasions Maggie would get out of one of our fenced backyards. Fortunately, she didn't know what to do with herself and she'd come to one of our front doors ;-).


I'm sharing these stories partly because they are stories Ginny & I would reminisce about and I need to share them with others now that Ginny is gone.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Ginny 8: University of Richmond and Women's Basketball

I'm not a big sports fan (unless my kids are involved.) I grew up in New York and went to a state school; I really wasn't familiar with schools outside of New York unless they had popular notoriety.  I went to a college that didn't have a football team and only went to less than a handful of sporting events in my four years there. I had never heard of University of Richmond until I moved here. Local college sports meant nothing to me.

While Ginny wasn't boastful, she was passionate and taught me so much about the University of Richmond, women's basketball, and coaching careers.

Ginny played for University of Richmond women's basketball. It was neat to see her face on team photos throughout the lobby of the Robins Center. As I remember it, she had planned to go on and play overseas professionally but an injury sidetracked her plans and after a few stints assistant coaching at other schools and getting her masters degree she ended up back at University of Richmond as an assistant coach. As much as she wanted to move on and be a head coach, I am so glad she remained at University of Richmond until the end; they are doing a wonderful job honoring her.

As we learned from Ginny, coaching staff usually leave when the head coach leaves their post, but Ginny's relationship with University of Richmond women's basketball was unique and she stuck around through several head coaches and eventually became the Associate Head Coach.

Ginny shared some tales of her time on the court for UR, but she didn't tell us before our first visit to Robins Center that her picture was INSIDE the Robins Center! The school has a mural around the interior perimeter of the Robins Center of school sports legends and there she was with Billy Packer. The girl was a legend, but came across as "just" our neighbor who happened to work for the University. Here is what the mural looked like pre-renovation; this isn't Ginny's picture but you see how big these images were..



Before I met Ginny, I figured coaching was seasonal, fun because you pretty much played all the time, and low stress. Ha! Ginny was probably on the road recruiting more than for away games. And there were countless rules on when she could recruit, how she could recruit, and who she could recruit! She was gone recruiting all but one week every July and throughout the year, she went to tournaments which started at the crack of dawn and dragged on into the late night. She went to recruit's AAU and school games, visited with their families, and welcomed them onto the University of Richmond campus.

Ginny never seemed to stop working. She'd get in very late at night from recruiting and be gone early the next morning for a team meeting. If she was home, she was usually in her office watching game tape. She scouted games. She would watch numerous tapes of upcoming competitors and would watch them repeatedly. I've come to appreciate the comment "it's a coach's game" through Ginny.

Ginny encouraged us to come to as many UR women's basketball games as possible, donned us with UR basketball sweatshirts every year, and told us all about the recent renovations at the Robins Center. And then she took the dogs to check it out...




Many people have said that Ginny bled blue & red; she was definitely a Spider through and through. She had such pride for the University she played for and then worked for. You could feel the energy when she was headed to campus to take a recruit on a tour. And I have no doubt that excitement showed in all of her discussion of University of Richmond.

Thanks to Ginny Doyle, we will always have a special place in our thoughts & hearts for University of Richmond, women's basketball, and the Robins Center.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Ginny 7: Our Lives Became Intertwined

Did you know that Kayla's senior pictures were taken in Ginny's backyard? I am so grateful for this lasting memory.



Did you know that Ginny had no fear of a microphone? Basketball wasn't the only game she enjoyed playing. She was always up for anything, including a little RockBand on one of Colin's birthdays. We never did settle our argument about how to pronounce Rummikub.


As time went on and we spent more & more time together, our familiarity with each other's friends & families grew.


Ginny got to know my brother, mother-in-law, and parents; I knew her mother, brothers, & sister. There was even some gift exchanging going on for special occasions. Ginny's mother adopted us into her family, remembering us at the holidays and special occasions...and brought us the most amazing pretzels from Philly whenever she came to visit! My parents sent a gift for Ginny at Christmas, and even my brother scored a U of R sweatshirt this year! Mrs. Doyle & Ginny's Aunt Mary joined us for one of Kayla's birthday cookouts too! It was not uncommon for our families to ask about each of us, after asking about Maggie ;-). And Ginny's family has been amazingly welcoming during this difficult time.



The ladies who worked out of my house for Mitzi's Fashion Boutique became very friendly with Ginny, as did Colin's Godparents and their children as they were together for Colin's birthday every year. And she shared tales with me of some of her close friends. Ginny was "the place to stay" for some URWBB ladies as they were in transition. Some of them stayed at her house for an extended period and we got to meet either in the exchange of dogs or even socially. Kate Flavin & I nursed Maggie after Maggie was "fixed" and Danielle had dinner with us one night when she was staying with Ginny.

It's not uncommon for people to have friends who aren't connected in any way. You may have friends at work who know nothing about your friends from church, etc. But, Ginny & Maggie (and eventually Lexi) were part of our "story." If people asked if we had pets, they'd learn about Maggie & Ginny. If Maggie was with us on a walk, and someone stopped to admire her, they'd learn about our arrangement. All of my friends from work, church, volunteering, sports, school, Facebook, etc. seemed to have known Ginny whether they'd met her personally or not.

And so many of my friends were personally touched by her loss and I am grateful for their support and their friendship with Ginny. It was tremendously helpful to know that people understood that Ginny was so much more than a neighbor. When Ginny died and I shared my sorrow with others, so many would reply "you mean the one with the dogs?" I am so very thankful that people understood our unique relationship and the pain we experienced.
"I know you have lost a member of your family"
"based on all I've read about Ginny and what I know about your family, sharing those dogs and the rest of your lives seems perfectly natural. I know Ginny was family to you."
"I know you said Ginny was more than a neighbor to yall but I think it worked both ways!"
"Ginny was a friend/neighbor im gathering? Was she maggies owner/mom?"
"You and Ginny were both very lucky to have a neighbor that was also a great friend."
 

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Ginny 6: The Storyteller

If you've read tributes to Ginny, you know that she was known for her story telling.

"The one thing I could always count on when I saw Ginny on the recruiting trail was a good story. " - Ginny Doyle's former Richmond teammate Amy Mallon

"A conversation that should have taken 5 minutes, turned into 45" - Julia Kaufman, assistant coach at Seton Hill

"She loved to tell stories! " - long-time Doyle friend and colleague in Delaware coach Tina Martin


I wonder how many times a neighbor would walk by and question why I was talking to Ginny's house. I'd stand in my driveway or the side yard and be looking up talking out loud, and never thought twice about it until someone would walk by. This is why I was doing it:




If Ginny saw me coming or going in the driveway and she was working upstairs in her office she would pop the window open and Maggie would come running upstairs to say hi too! I always wanted to get a better shot of this; at least I have these, as eery as they might seem now. You can't imagine how difficult it is to look at her house every day.

Ginny never missed an opportunity to say hi, talk about our days, and let me know what was coming up, be it a trip, a game, a concert, or something going on at work. Ginny was a workaholic. Even when she was home sick, she was working. But she'd always stop to talk. I didn't always have time for a long chat but I'm ever so thankful that she kept me engaged (it was a little hard to move her along in her storytelling sometimes.) I will miss the conversations through the window, over the fence, at the front door, on the porch, and in our living rooms so much.

To be honest, the day of the accident, I really expected her to be a witness and come home telling us all about what had happened. What I would give for that to have been the case!