I don't remember when it started.
I don't remember drinking much soda as a kid. I do remember that 2-liter bottles of diet 7-Up were a staple in my house, but I don't think I drank it very often. I know I had an occasional grape or orange soda when camping as a kid and Shirley Temples at Grandma Meyer's on holidays. I can actually remember getting sick on lemon-lime soda at the beach and swearing it off for awhile.
But I don't remember when the daily consumption began. I know there was a McDonald's in front of the grocery store where I worked in high school...did I stop there on my way to work? I don't recall. The fact is that soda fountains weren't as readily available when I was a teen as they are now. Anyway...
The first time I remember consistently getting a fountain soda was in college. I think the dining hall near the academics building was called "The Hub" and I remember slipping in there for a soda on my way to classes. White styrofoam cups, ice, carbonated diet cola, a lid and a straw. Mmmmm... Little did I know this was the beginning of a 27-year habit.
I don't know if getting a soda before class happened every time, but what I do remember is that when I was living in Rensselaer NY, I stopped at a McDonald's* for a soda on my way to work every single day. And it's been that way ever since.
When I'd go to visit my then-boyfriend's mother (now mother-in-law) she'd always have diet Pepsi for me because the closest fountain was about 30 minutes away. (I don't know when I switched from diet Pepsi to diet Coke but I cannot stand diet Pepsi now. At all.)
Getting a soda was part of me. We even went to McDonald's drive-through for a soda on the way home from our wedding...in full wedding attire! It was not uncommon for me to scope out the location of where the morning's 'bubbles' would come from upon arrival at a trip destination. I loved me some diet soda out of a fountain.
About six years ago I decided to try to "quit the addiction." I went through a little bit of withdrawal when I cut back on the caffeine (felt like I had the flu for a couple of days), but I never felt like that was really the addiction. That was just an added perk to the pleasure of carbonation on ice. At that time, it was when I tried to go without carbonation that I hit a stumbling block. It turns out that's what I was "addicted" to...the carbonation...on ice.
So I cut back on my diet Coke consumption dramatically, but not completely. And I've slowly crept back up, but not to the same point, thankfully. As a matter of fact, I can't stand the taste of diet Coke after 12pm. What's up with that?!?! It used to be my go-to beverage on the way home from work, when going out to dinner, etc. Whatever...this new-found distaste for diet Coke after 12pm worked in keeping my consumption down.
But now I've got lots of reasons to quit. And the number one reason is desire. So I stopped the caffeine with one night of fatigue and that was it. And I've stopped the carbonation with no withdrawal symptoms.
WAIT! WHAT?! No withdrawal from the beloved carbonation?
Well...what I did was treat myself to my second-favorite beverage during this first week of quitting...a Chick-fil-A diet lemonade. A non-carbonated yet tangy beverage to satisfy the craving. (By the way, I HAVE NO DESIRE TO REPLACE MY DIET COKE HABIT. I'm not going to start drinking tea or tonic or anything other than delicious, nutritious water. I am not looking for an alternative.) I just wanted to help myself adjust to the lack of carbonation since that was such a stumbling block last time and felt that the diet lemonade would soften that craving.
But what I've discovered is that what I thought was an addiction is actually more of a habit. Wikipedia says it best:
"Historically, addiction has been defined as physical and psychological dependence on psychoactive substances (for example alcohol, tobacco, heroin, caffeine and other drugs) which cross the blood-brain barrier once ingested, temporarily altering the chemical milieu of the brain." Whereas a habit is "an acquired pattern of behavior that often occurs automatically"
My desire for a fountain soda has nothing to do with caffeine, diet Coke, or carbonation. My habit is to get up every morning with the first goal being to get ready and head out. I even start to look forward to this the night before, thinking about what time I need to get up to be sure I get my soda before the days tasks need to begin. No matter where I am -- at home, on vacation, visiting family / friends -- for as long as I can remember my mornings have consisted of getting up, getting showered & dressed, and heading out for a soda. Plans have revolved around this habit. If someone is picking me up for an early morning event, I will get up even earlier to head out and be sure I've got that beverage before the day gets started. This summer I drove 24 miles round trip every morning to get a diet Coke from McDonalds in town. It was, in some respects, the highlight to my day. The one consistent. The one thing I could control without question. At home, it was almost like Norm going to Cheers. I went to 7-Eleven on Huron Road 90% of the time and always knew someone there, be it an employee or a customer. I've made friends, networked, and cheered on others.
*Remember how I said I went to McDonald's in Rensselaer daily when I was living in Albany? The reason I remember that is that in order to get to the drive through I actually drove past the building and around. It got to the point where the person who always worked the drive through window looked for me to drive past and had my soda ready before I even placed my order. The first of many personal connections this habit created.
I feel better knowing that it's a habit rather than an addiction. I will survive without the caffeine, Aspartame, and carbonation. I've just got to find a new morning routine and THAT is going to be a challenge. The trips to Chick-fil-A end tomorrow.
