The Positive Project: Summer 2011

My friend was telling me about a book called "The Positive Project." I'm not too familiar with the book, but what little she told me inspired to look back on the positives of this summer because I feel guilty about how happy I am that summer 2011 is coming to an end.

• Kayla spent a week with my parents in Florida


• Kayla successfully completed Algebra II, sticking it out for 7 long weeks of 7:30-1:30 M-Th classes (and I managed to get her there on time every day!)


• Colin swam for the HCRA Marlins, making it to practice every day and participating in every swim meet, even those which went past midnight or rolled into a second night


• Pierce volunteered at every swim meet


• I managed to keep the HCRA Marlins swim team board up-to-date until swim team picnic night


• I made it to the gym more this summer than last summer (despite missing an entire month due to illness & vacation!)


• Colin kept up his baseball training with twice weekly practice and/or scrimmages


• Kayla made money pet-sitting, babysitting, and cake making


• Colin's social circle quadrupled


• Kayla past her 3-day road test


• We managed to get together with some friends outside of kids' activities


• We made it to a Flying Squirrels game and two Washington Nationals games


• We made it up to New York to visit some of Pierce's family and the Kolariks


• Kayla participated in band camp


• Kayla got her drivers license


• Kayla was a Kick-off Mentor at Tiger Camp


• Colin completed a week of basketball camp


• We survived an earthquake


• We survived a hurricane


• We paid fees for 2 of the 3 free, public schools the kids will be attending this fall

Considering the list of accomplishments, it's hard to believe the list of canceled plans because I ran out of steam, missed doctors appointments, and forgotten tasks. What a summer! Between all of these activities and being sick for a month, there was hardly any time to breath and my house is a disaster zone.

My September calendar is updated and it looks like we'll actually have time to really enjoy Friday night lights, band competitions, fall baseball league games and family dinners!

Always a part of our lives: Roommates

I thought of this topic while on vacation last week. I never really thought about my roommate experience as a whole before. It was eye-opening to realize I didn't have many roommates. And made me wonder if perhaps I'm the one that was difficult to live with...or just savvy enough to have my own space whenever possible ;-).

Ah...college. I still remember the first day. I was so lucky...assigned to a "triple" (3 girls in a room meant for two), in "the nunnery" (the only all-girls dorm on campus"), on southside (which required a walk across "the tundra" to get to class.) I entered my room to find that roommate #1 (Joelle) had already moved in. She was on the soccer team and had been there for weeks. She had the one single bed, one of two desks, a chest of drawers (there may have actually been three of these, one for each of us...novel idea), and one of two closets. I can't blame her...she lived in there alone for some period, no sense in living in cramped quarters. Roommate #2 (Jackie) must have arrived soon after me and the three of us worked out our "territories." I got the bottom bunk, a closet to myself but I had to put my chest of drawers in the closet, and shared a desk with Joelle (but was never a desk user really.) All was right in the world and we had a fun kickoff to college life.
One of the girls in the room next door to us moved out after first semester, so I moved into her room. Roommate problem #1: I can't even remember my roommates' name! It might have been Wendy, but I really don't remember. It's not that I didn't like her (We were both preoccupied with boyfriends when we weren't studying. She was very quiet and I was still hanging out with Jackie, Joelle and the other girls on our corridor.)

Sophomore year my group of friends & I moved over to a short corridor in Onondoga. My roommate was Maria. She was also on the soccer team. I'm not sure what happened, whether she dropped out or failed out, but I had the room to myself at the beginning of second semester. I avoided a roommate for what seems like months. Eventually a sweet girl moved in. I want to say her name was Wendy but think I've used that name already; I do know her boyfriend's name was Aubrey so at least I remember something!

Third year, it was time to move off-campus and Marcy and Kelly asked me if I wanted to move into a house with them and a few other friends. The only thing was that I'd be living in a closet. Literally! They were looking for a 6th housemate to split the rent. That was fine with me. It was actually a storage closet, big enough for my twin bed, a chest of drawers, and a very small desk. Bonus: it was on the first floor so I only had to share the bathroom with one other housemate, Gina. There were four girls sharing two bedrooms and one full bath upstairs. This may have been my best year in college. Fun girls. No roommate changes. And freedom from dorm life.

Two of those housemates graduated that year and the remaining four of us moved down the street into an apartment. Guess what? I scored a single room again! My other three apartment-mates were education majors and would be student teaching, so they figured I deserved a room where I wouldn't be interrupted by their early alarm clocks. Unfortunately, our upstairs neighbors were not as considerate and often woke my roommates with their after-hours partying.

After college I moved to Pittsfield MA and shared an apartment with a fellow Geneseo alumni, Mary Ellen. We had a really cool apartment with fun neighbors and co-workers. We were slobs...and didn't care. This was also when I took on a pet, Yeti the rabbit. She fit right in, leaving hay all over the place and chewing up the wires.

After a little more than a year I went through a "mid-life crisis." I'd fallen in love with Pierce and was trying to find my way. I asked him if I could move in temporarily. That was twenty years ago. I finally found my perfect roomie ;-).

Always a part of our lives: Childcare Provider

Isn't it sad that people who were so important at a point in our life just seem to disappear?

My dad was a mail man (that's what they called them then...now they're called mail carriers) and my mother was a teacher (I don't believe there has been an update to that title.) When my mother went back to work, she brought my brother and I to the babysitter who "all" the teachers used...Justine Stouffler on Buttonwood Ave*. When we started, I'd say my brother was in early elementary school and I was with Justine full-time. I never went to preschool and the picture of me on my first day of school in my strawberry dress is in Justine's front yard.

I still remember little snippets of moments with her...riding in her car to pick another kid up from a school off of Route 202; lying on the couch in the living room when I wasn't feeling well one day; watching her make French toast; big tins of Snyder's of Hanover pretzels; and helping her sing "Rock a Bye Baby" to one of her littlest loves.

My first "boyfriend" also went to Justine's...Kenny Hershkowitz (do NOT quote me on that spelling!) I really don't remember him, but legend has it that when his family moved to Israel his mother confiscated my "love" letters to Kenny because he was so sick over leaving me behind. We were probably 6 because I do remember that he carried my books to class in kindergarten (probably only once...and what books did a kid carry to kindergarten anyway???)

I still remember the layout of Justine's house. I remember that her sister June lived down the street, and that they both had these "country" window boxes with seeds hanging in their kitchens.

But I have no idea where she is now or even if she's still living. I've tried searching for her online from time to time to no avail.

How is it that people who are so important to us just seem to disappear??? Gone, but not forgotten.

*If you're read this far through, I'm impressed. And if you went to Van Cort or Lincoln-Titus, this situation would explain why I went to L-T even though I lived in the Van Cort zone. Since I caught the bus from Justine's, I went to the school servicing her neighborhood. That made it kind of hard to make friends in my area, especially since my street was one of the few not part of a subdivision filled with kids my age.

Always a part of our lives: Church family growing up

Sometimes when I think back to all of the people I've spent time without throughout my life and all of the places I visited, it's sad to think that something or someone so significant at the time is no longer part of my life, yet still has a presence. Do you know what I mean?

I just came across the formal picture taken of my confirmation at The Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer in Peekskill NY. I actually still remember that day. I remember standing up to answer a question from the Pastor and suddenly getting cold feet. We'd practiced and the answers were all part of a creed we'd recited since we were toddlers, but all of the sudden the pressure was on and I got tongue tied (I eventually got the words out, passed the public test and made my confirmation.) Anyway...back to my point...

I grew up with these kids. We went to Sunday school together. We had lock-ins and retreats. We went to confirmation class together every week for two years. Yet I don't know where all but one of them are (thanks to Facebook, Flora & I are back in touch.)

I get heavy-hearted thinking that people and places so near & dear to me might be gone to me forever. I do think I can name them all: Richard & Heidi Gibson (twins), myself (in my awful long hair phase), I don't' remember the pastor's name, Flora Williams, Stacy Nigl, Tricia Fox & Eric Froelich. How'd I do Flora???

If today is an indication, I think I'm going to like this summer...

• Kayla arrived safely in Florida and woke up feeling a little better from the cold that developed yesterday morning. She's already played a round of golf and is currently clothes shopping with grandma.


• Colin scored some personal best times at last night's swim meet while earning some ribbons for placing too! But best of all, he had a great time with friends...I did too!


• I slept in but still managed an hour cardio class...and a nap later in the afternoon!


• I got a little bit of "work" (albeit volunteer-related) accomplished.


• Ended the day with Chinese delivery, visit with my brother and porch time with my neighbor.

My daily summer goals* are simple:

• Get kids where they need / want to be.


• Keep up my exercise & diet routine (the latter is going to be very hard)


• Accomplish something each day, be it housework, volunteering or part-time income


• Enjoy family & friends

* But the big goal is finding a job by the fall!

Maggie Moo

I grew up with a dog in the house (Holly the German Schnauzer) and Pierce had a cat (Ginger.) I had a pet rabbit when I was a young adult...she even made it into our wedding photos! Yet neither one of us had a desire to have a cat or dog as adults. It didn't help that he's allergic to dogs and I'm allergic to cats. We gave the rabbit to a good home soon after Kayla was born.

Kayla loves animals and has had fish, hermit crabs and hamsters for as long as I can remember. It was almost sad that she didn't have a "real" pet to care for. Colin was very uncomfortable around dogs and had a pretty severe allergy to dogs as well.

The previous owners of our house had an "open door" policy with one neighbor's dog and we had to re-train the dog that we couldn't let it roam our house due to Colin's fear and our allergies.

And then came Maggie...

I remember the day I drove into our driveway and our other neighbor was in our side yard. There was this tiny black furry "thing" in the grass and the rest is history...

She wanted this dog, a sweet little Yorkshire Terrier, but was going to need some help caring for it because of her work schedule. I turned to Colin and told him to go get Kayla.

Kayla came out, met the puppy and immediately agreed to help raise it. And so Maggie came into our lives. At first we'd go to her house to let her out and to play with her. Gradually she'd come over for little visits. Now, she's here so much people thinks she's actually OUR dog!

Maggie is our "part-time" dog. She's the best of both worlds for us...she toggles between her house & ours like they're both her own. She spends the night with us when her owner is out of town, cuddles with us, celebrates holidays & special occasions with us, and has even adjusted to the arrival of Kayla's pet hedgehog. But she's still her owner's dog and gets very excited whenever she comes home from work no matter how long she's been away.

It's like having a niece, nephew or grandchild...all of the fun, none of the expense ;-).

And now I can't imagine a house without a dog! We miss her when she's not here, especially after she's been around for a few days. And she is so much a part of our lives we couldn't imagine getting a dog of our own and turning her life upside down like that so we'll enjoy her as long as she's around.

I blinked and she's 16

Sixteen years ago today, I became a parent.

Me.

The one who thought I didn't want children when I got married, and then thought I wanted five when I moved away from family to Richmond and met someone with a large family.

The one who'd never spent time around a newborn. The one family I regularly babysat for when I was a teenager always had their kids in bed before they went out at night. I was the youngest in my family so no little siblings to practice on. I didn't have nieces or nephews and Kayla was the first grandchild. I was the first of my close friends to have a baby. And Pierce is an only child.

We'd only been living in Richmond for a year. We had no family in town and just a small circle of friends from our new church (none with children.)

And along came Kayla...and somehow we survived and seemingly succeeded.

Pierce & I worked full-time, she went to a daycare center for 3 years then stayed with a neighbor for a year then hung out with my mother-in-law while going to preschool and then starting grade school. She was a girl scout, played soccer and still does well in school. Kayla is a traveler, an animal lover, a musician, and a baker. She's smart, independent, creative and tolerant.

And I can't wait to see what the next 16 years have in store for our little girl who will be graduating high school before we know it.