Ginny, Part 4: Like Family

Time to come in...she scratches at the door until we open the door for her.

Maggie's idea of reading the Sunday paper with me.

Drama girl...feed me!

Ginny took really good care of us for taking care of her baby. She was always so appreciative that Maggie had a loving home to enjoy when she was away, whether she was gone for a day at work or an extended period on the road. She had looked at doggie day care businesses as a back up but never had to use one. She did pay Kayla, but also showered our entire family with thanks and gifts. Ginny was a very generous, thoughtful friend. Because of Ginny, Pierce & I tried new restaurants with gift cards she shared, we all had a University of Richmond wardrobe thanks to our annual Christmas sweatshirts -- even my brother!, and we have things around the house from Ginny. But she didn't realize the biggest gift she was giving us...

I remember the first time she told us she might be moving in pursuit of a head coaching position. Becoming a head coach was Ginny's dream. In the world of sports, transition to a new coaching position was very quick. As soon as she accepted a position, she'd be expected to relocate. So, we needed to know whenever the possibility arose because it would obviously affect the girls. Depending on where she ended up, Maggie might stay with us for a few months until she was able to get settled and make arrangements for Mags (hopefully another neighbor willing to welcome her into their daily routine.) Of course, Maggie was also older, so she didn't need to be tended to all day, but she sure loved the attention and Ginny liked knowing Maggie was with us.

Back to the first threat that she might be moving on...

We were at an Innsbrook After Hours concert together; I have no idea which one. We were waiting in line at the beer truck when she broke the news. My heart sunk. Throughout the evening we discussed the possibilities. At some point she asked how I thought the kids would take the news and I told her they'd be really sad. She seemed surprised. I told her "Ginny...you're like family to us." I don't think she had ever realized how much she meant to us until that moment.

We always knew the possibility existed that she might leave us, but never imagined it would be so tragically.

Ginny, Part 3: A Friendship Blossoms

This is one of the first digital pictures I have of Maggie Moo; 

it was taken by Ginny in her house.

I'm not exactly sure this was our first social event, but it stands out as the beginning of a beautiful family-like friendship.

So the routine had been set that Ginny would bring Maggie to our house in the morning, Maggie would spend the day with me while I worked from home and the kids after school, and Ginny would pick her up in the evening after work.

This is Moo sitting on my work table...

she'd sit in my lap all day if I could be productive 

with a warm ball of fur in my way!

But doggie-daycare was only a part of our services. Ginny was on the road. A lot. Obviously she would travel with the team for away games, which usually meant at least two days on the road but sometimes more. Ginny also did a lot of recruiting, which would sometimes be over a week on the road. She was gone all of July except for one week every year. The first year I think Maggie spent that month with Grammy in Philly, but after that she just stayed with us every year. The team traveled over Thanksgiving every year, so Maggie would celebrate the holiday with us. The team also had a big international trip every few years. There were some people who saw the dogs at our house so much that they'd begin to question that they were really ours. They were definitely Ginny's; we just got the pleasure of spoiling them a lot!

Early on, Ginny's father passed away while she was on the road. Later that year, we were planning a family cookout for Pierce for Father's Day. Realizing this would be Ginny's first Father's Day without her father, I invited her to join us. From that point on, she was part of every cookout, every family celebration, and so much more. Our property line blurred and we welcomed each other into our lives.

Ginny, Part 2: Welcoming Maggie & Ginny into our Family

The puppy was already named when Ginny met her. Her name was Maggie. Ginny would have liked to have chosen a different name, like Nike, but Maggie stuck and so it was.

The plan was to keep Maggie at Ginny's house. She was to be crate trained. As much as Kayla was the official dog sitter, she was at school all day and I was home, so when Ginny was at work, I'd go over to her house, let Maggie out of the crate and outside. Then play with Maggie a little and put her back in the crate. Somehow, I had become the dog sitter ;-).

So up until this point, all I know is that Ginny is a women's basketball coach for University of Richmond, she's single, and she now has a puppy Yorkie. The first time I went into her house to check on Maggie, I expected the female version of a bachelor pad with basketball memorabilia in every corner. Boy was I in for a surprise!

Ginny's house was magazine-perfect! Great color scheme, tastefully decorated, and upgraded carpeting. I don't think there was a single basketball-related item in the entire downstairs. Ginny had style.

The more I got to know & adore Maggie, the less I liked her being in the house alone all day so eventually we brought the crate to our house. So much for allergies, huh? The vet said that this arrangement probably wouldn't work because Yorkies are pretty territorial and would not transition between houses easily. But Maggie did great...and even traveled to her Grammy's house in Philly without issue. Ginny would bring Maggie over on her way to work every morning, and pick her up in the evening. Ginny provided all the comforts of home for Maggie at our house - beds and toys, pens and gates.

It eventually got to the point that if Maggie was at our house and sensed that Ginny was home, she'd get excited and if she was at Ginny's house and saw us pull into the driveway, she'd run to the side window to greet us. She loved having two homes!

And, of course, over time the crate became unnecessary and before you knew it Maggie had free reign of Ginny's house as well as ours. Good thing Colin had gotten over his fear of cute little doggies!

Ginny was devoted to her puppy, teaching her fun tricks like the obvious sit, lay down, play dead, and roll over. She also taught Mags to "spread 'em" where Maggie would put her two front paws on the wall like a criminal being frisked. She'd have play dates with her friend Rhonda's dog Rhodie, and neighborhood dogs especially Ginger, Brisbie, and Marlow, take her to dog parks, and treat her to Bruester's ice cream on occasion.

In the meantime, we'd see Ginny daily and a friendship blossomed. She took a genuine interest in getting to know us, especially Kayla & Colin. She was right in the thick of things when it came to playing wiffle ball or badminton in the back yard, shooting hoops in the driveway, or throwing (extremely) long football tosses between our yards!

Ginny, Part 1: Welcome Maggie

We knew the family we bought our house from, so we had a good idea of who our new neighbors were before moving in. We knew that the couple to the left of our house had a dog who had an "open door policy" in our house. These two families were close and Brandi was welcome in the Benders house whenever she wanted to come visit. At this point, Colin was afraid of dogs and Pierce & Colin had dog allergies, so we had to retrain Brandi pretty quickly about coming into our house. It really was never a problem.

The neighbor to our right was a single lady who coached at University of Richmond and was "never" home. Our introductions to her were chance encounters when we were all outside doing yard work or the like. It was a very casual neighborly relationship. Let's face it; she was a single woman who pursued sports for a career. We were non-athletic parents of two young kids. We didn't have much in common except a property line.

I remember one particular day that changed everything. I was pulling my car into the driveway and Ginny was in the yard between our houses with a cute little black fur ball romping in the grass. Colin & I got out of the car and went right over to see what she was up to. She explained that a secretary at U of R had adopted this Yorkshire terrier, but had decided the puppy was a bit more than she could handle and she wondered if Ginny would be interested in adopting her. Ginny had grown up with Yorkies and had thought about getting a dog but with her travel schedule didn't know how she could manage it without help. I turned to Colin and told him to go inside the house and get his sister.

Kayla is an animal lover and wanted a pet (other than fish, hermit crabs, and hamsters.) Opportunity was knocking!

Kayla came out of the house and fell in love. I honestly don't know if Ginny & Kayla had even met until this moment. This could be an opportunity for Ginny and Kayla to have the dog they both wanted. Ginny, Kayla & I discussed the possibility of Ginny adopting the dog with Kayla being the dog sitter. I remember walking toward the Rice's house with Ginny; she wanted to see if they would help too. I told her "we have first dibs." Half in jest; half selfishly because I knew we were up for the challenge of helping Ginny raise this sweet puppy. I know she remembered that line; we referenced it frequently in reflecting on our friendship.

Ginny had some thinking to do. She had numerous conversations with her mom. Her close relationship with her mom was introduced to me; she valued her mother's opinion more than anything. Ultimately, she decided to keep the sweet puppy Maggie and our friendship was sealed.

I remember the first time...

"Things could be worse."

How often do you remind yourself of that simple phrase? How many times have you truly believed it in your adult life? 

I KNOW things could be so much worse. As frustrating as things can be, I've got a healthy family, a beautiful home, terrific friends, and a little money in my pocket. Things could be so much worse. I know people who are struggling more than I can ever imagine.

It came to me this week that I remember the first time I realized that someone had it worse than me. I was in second grade. I can remember thinking to myself at that very moment "I'm glad I'm not THAT kid."

Here's the story...

When I was in second grade, I broke my leg. I was ice skating on the pond in Depew Park in Peekskill. One second I'm up and the next I'm down. I think I tripped on a twig. I knew right away that my leg was broken. I don't know why I was so sure, but I just knew it was broken. My father took some convincing, but that's not the point.

Fast forward, I end up spending several days in the hospital. I remember a few moments from this experience. One in particular stands out. I was practicing how to use my crutches by going up & down the hall in the pediatric unit. And here's where I remember thinking "I'm glad I'm not THAT kid."

I remember hearing a kid screaming and as I hobbled past this kid's room, I looked in. It appeared to me that a doctor or nurse was poking needles under his finger nails or into his fingertips. I hadn't seen the movie Clockwork Orange yet, so I have no idea whether this was actually happening but still today it sounds like torture and I hope it was just my young (obviously distorted) imagination. Nonetheless, at that moment, I was thankful that I was just trying to figure out how to balance on crutches. I was really glad not to be THAT kid, and learned on the spot that "things could be worse."

It's been over a year!?!?

Boy, what a slacker. It's been over a year since I've blogged! That's just sad. Mainly because time flies way too fast. 

Since my last blog, Kayla has graduated from high school, gone on to college, taken a break from college, bred two litters of hedgehogs, bought a new (to her) car, and thrived at work. Colin is now almost done with middle school, is looking at high school options we never imagined, has two seasons of wrestling under his belt in addition to baseball, basketball, and swimming, and has grown probably 6". Finally.

Even I started a new part-time job, turned a volunteer position into a different part-time job, cut back on couponing, and kept threatening to quit diet Coke. And dear Pierce continues at the same full-time job but has been challenged to take on different projects this winter and is now thinking about how to learn more about this IT stuff. 

So as much as life seems to be the same, 

it really changes like the weather.

#6 Mountains

I ♥ Mountains!!!

I had no idea how much I loved mountains, until I realized how much I miss them. Richmond is FLAT! The odd thing is the reason I always wanted to live in Virginia is because I remembered it as green rolling hills.

Hills are a rarity in Richmond!

I didn't realize how much that mattered to me until we had been living here about two years. We flew into Syracuse NY to visit Pierce's family in northern NY. Driving along the NY Thruway, I saw the foothills of the Adirondacks I suddenly felt very homesick.

Driving west on I-64 in Virginia, I never fail to feel relief when I see the mountains in the distance. The closest I get to that thrill in Richmond is driving around Echo Lake Park on Springfield Road, or driving through Bon Air. Richmond is so flat!!! How did I ever end up here?

I grew up on a big hill. I went to college in the Genesee Valley and loved going to Letchworth State Park, known as the "Grand Canyon of the East." I even had my college graduation dinner in the park.

I lived in the Berkshires after college. Why didn't I realize how important mountains were to me when deciding where to settle down?!?!

I can remember the first time I visited Pierce's hometown. I was sitting on the couch, looking out the front door, and amazed at how flat the land was near Ogdensburg NY; that should have been my first indication that mountains were part of me.

I am glad to live in Richmond. The friendships we have made here are invaluable. It's a good place to raise our children. But some way or another, I WILL live closer to mountains eventually!

Now I don't need those big huge Rocky Mountains. I'll take the Adirondacks, Berkshires, or Blue Ridge.

Several years ago, I had the amazing opportunity to visit my friend Alice in Provo UT. I flew into the airport very late at night. As she drove me to her home, I couldn't believe how low the white clouds hung. It became ominous -- the sky was dark all around except for these white clouds. I finally said something and she replied: "those aren't clouds, they're the whitecaps on the mountains!" Those mountains were HUGE!!! They were absolutely beautiful during the day, but I'll take my east coast mountains.