The Positive Project: Summer 2011

My friend was telling me about a book called "The Positive Project." I'm not too familiar with the book, but what little she told me inspired to look back on the positives of this summer because I feel guilty about how happy I am that summer 2011 is coming to an end.

• Kayla spent a week with my parents in Florida


• Kayla successfully completed Algebra II, sticking it out for 7 long weeks of 7:30-1:30 M-Th classes (and I managed to get her there on time every day!)


• Colin swam for the HCRA Marlins, making it to practice every day and participating in every swim meet, even those which went past midnight or rolled into a second night


• Pierce volunteered at every swim meet


• I managed to keep the HCRA Marlins swim team board up-to-date until swim team picnic night


• I made it to the gym more this summer than last summer (despite missing an entire month due to illness & vacation!)


• Colin kept up his baseball training with twice weekly practice and/or scrimmages


• Kayla made money pet-sitting, babysitting, and cake making


• Colin's social circle quadrupled


• Kayla past her 3-day road test


• We managed to get together with some friends outside of kids' activities


• We made it to a Flying Squirrels game and two Washington Nationals games


• We made it up to New York to visit some of Pierce's family and the Kolariks


• Kayla participated in band camp


• Kayla got her drivers license


• Kayla was a Kick-off Mentor at Tiger Camp


• Colin completed a week of basketball camp


• We survived an earthquake


• We survived a hurricane


• We paid fees for 2 of the 3 free, public schools the kids will be attending this fall

Considering the list of accomplishments, it's hard to believe the list of canceled plans because I ran out of steam, missed doctors appointments, and forgotten tasks. What a summer! Between all of these activities and being sick for a month, there was hardly any time to breath and my house is a disaster zone.

My September calendar is updated and it looks like we'll actually have time to really enjoy Friday night lights, band competitions, fall baseball league games and family dinners!

Always a part of our lives: Roommates

I thought of this topic while on vacation last week. I never really thought about my roommate experience as a whole before. It was eye-opening to realize I didn't have many roommates. And made me wonder if perhaps I'm the one that was difficult to live with...or just savvy enough to have my own space whenever possible ;-).

Ah...college. I still remember the first day. I was so lucky...assigned to a "triple" (3 girls in a room meant for two), in "the nunnery" (the only all-girls dorm on campus"), on southside (which required a walk across "the tundra" to get to class.) I entered my room to find that roommate #1 (Joelle) had already moved in. She was on the soccer team and had been there for weeks. She had the one single bed, one of two desks, a chest of drawers (there may have actually been three of these, one for each of us...novel idea), and one of two closets. I can't blame her...she lived in there alone for some period, no sense in living in cramped quarters. Roommate #2 (Jackie) must have arrived soon after me and the three of us worked out our "territories." I got the bottom bunk, a closet to myself but I had to put my chest of drawers in the closet, and shared a desk with Joelle (but was never a desk user really.) All was right in the world and we had a fun kickoff to college life.
One of the girls in the room next door to us moved out after first semester, so I moved into her room. Roommate problem #1: I can't even remember my roommates' name! It might have been Wendy, but I really don't remember. It's not that I didn't like her (We were both preoccupied with boyfriends when we weren't studying. She was very quiet and I was still hanging out with Jackie, Joelle and the other girls on our corridor.)

Sophomore year my group of friends & I moved over to a short corridor in Onondoga. My roommate was Maria. She was also on the soccer team. I'm not sure what happened, whether she dropped out or failed out, but I had the room to myself at the beginning of second semester. I avoided a roommate for what seems like months. Eventually a sweet girl moved in. I want to say her name was Wendy but think I've used that name already; I do know her boyfriend's name was Aubrey so at least I remember something!

Third year, it was time to move off-campus and Marcy and Kelly asked me if I wanted to move into a house with them and a few other friends. The only thing was that I'd be living in a closet. Literally! They were looking for a 6th housemate to split the rent. That was fine with me. It was actually a storage closet, big enough for my twin bed, a chest of drawers, and a very small desk. Bonus: it was on the first floor so I only had to share the bathroom with one other housemate, Gina. There were four girls sharing two bedrooms and one full bath upstairs. This may have been my best year in college. Fun girls. No roommate changes. And freedom from dorm life.

Two of those housemates graduated that year and the remaining four of us moved down the street into an apartment. Guess what? I scored a single room again! My other three apartment-mates were education majors and would be student teaching, so they figured I deserved a room where I wouldn't be interrupted by their early alarm clocks. Unfortunately, our upstairs neighbors were not as considerate and often woke my roommates with their after-hours partying.

After college I moved to Pittsfield MA and shared an apartment with a fellow Geneseo alumni, Mary Ellen. We had a really cool apartment with fun neighbors and co-workers. We were slobs...and didn't care. This was also when I took on a pet, Yeti the rabbit. She fit right in, leaving hay all over the place and chewing up the wires.

After a little more than a year I went through a "mid-life crisis." I'd fallen in love with Pierce and was trying to find my way. I asked him if I could move in temporarily. That was twenty years ago. I finally found my perfect roomie ;-).

Always a part of our lives: Childcare Provider

Isn't it sad that people who were so important at a point in our life just seem to disappear?

My dad was a mail man (that's what they called them then...now they're called mail carriers) and my mother was a teacher (I don't believe there has been an update to that title.) When my mother went back to work, she brought my brother and I to the babysitter who "all" the teachers used...Justine Stouffler on Buttonwood Ave*. When we started, I'd say my brother was in early elementary school and I was with Justine full-time. I never went to preschool and the picture of me on my first day of school in my strawberry dress is in Justine's front yard.

I still remember little snippets of moments with her...riding in her car to pick another kid up from a school off of Route 202; lying on the couch in the living room when I wasn't feeling well one day; watching her make French toast; big tins of Snyder's of Hanover pretzels; and helping her sing "Rock a Bye Baby" to one of her littlest loves.

My first "boyfriend" also went to Justine's...Kenny Hershkowitz (do NOT quote me on that spelling!) I really don't remember him, but legend has it that when his family moved to Israel his mother confiscated my "love" letters to Kenny because he was so sick over leaving me behind. We were probably 6 because I do remember that he carried my books to class in kindergarten (probably only once...and what books did a kid carry to kindergarten anyway???)

I still remember the layout of Justine's house. I remember that her sister June lived down the street, and that they both had these "country" window boxes with seeds hanging in their kitchens.

But I have no idea where she is now or even if she's still living. I've tried searching for her online from time to time to no avail.

How is it that people who are so important to us just seem to disappear??? Gone, but not forgotten.

*If you're read this far through, I'm impressed. And if you went to Van Cort or Lincoln-Titus, this situation would explain why I went to L-T even though I lived in the Van Cort zone. Since I caught the bus from Justine's, I went to the school servicing her neighborhood. That made it kind of hard to make friends in my area, especially since my street was one of the few not part of a subdivision filled with kids my age.

Always a part of our lives: Church family growing up

Sometimes when I think back to all of the people I've spent time without throughout my life and all of the places I visited, it's sad to think that something or someone so significant at the time is no longer part of my life, yet still has a presence. Do you know what I mean?

I just came across the formal picture taken of my confirmation at The Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer in Peekskill NY. I actually still remember that day. I remember standing up to answer a question from the Pastor and suddenly getting cold feet. We'd practiced and the answers were all part of a creed we'd recited since we were toddlers, but all of the sudden the pressure was on and I got tongue tied (I eventually got the words out, passed the public test and made my confirmation.) Anyway...back to my point...

I grew up with these kids. We went to Sunday school together. We had lock-ins and retreats. We went to confirmation class together every week for two years. Yet I don't know where all but one of them are (thanks to Facebook, Flora & I are back in touch.)

I get heavy-hearted thinking that people and places so near & dear to me might be gone to me forever. I do think I can name them all: Richard & Heidi Gibson (twins), myself (in my awful long hair phase), I don't' remember the pastor's name, Flora Williams, Stacy Nigl, Tricia Fox & Eric Froelich. How'd I do Flora???

If today is an indication, I think I'm going to like this summer...

• Kayla arrived safely in Florida and woke up feeling a little better from the cold that developed yesterday morning. She's already played a round of golf and is currently clothes shopping with grandma.


• Colin scored some personal best times at last night's swim meet while earning some ribbons for placing too! But best of all, he had a great time with friends...I did too!


• I slept in but still managed an hour cardio class...and a nap later in the afternoon!


• I got a little bit of "work" (albeit volunteer-related) accomplished.


• Ended the day with Chinese delivery, visit with my brother and porch time with my neighbor.

My daily summer goals* are simple:

• Get kids where they need / want to be.


• Keep up my exercise & diet routine (the latter is going to be very hard)


• Accomplish something each day, be it housework, volunteering or part-time income


• Enjoy family & friends

* But the big goal is finding a job by the fall!

Maggie Moo

I grew up with a dog in the house (Holly the German Schnauzer) and Pierce had a cat (Ginger.) I had a pet rabbit when I was a young adult...she even made it into our wedding photos! Yet neither one of us had a desire to have a cat or dog as adults. It didn't help that he's allergic to dogs and I'm allergic to cats. We gave the rabbit to a good home soon after Kayla was born.

Kayla loves animals and has had fish, hermit crabs and hamsters for as long as I can remember. It was almost sad that she didn't have a "real" pet to care for. Colin was very uncomfortable around dogs and had a pretty severe allergy to dogs as well.

The previous owners of our house had an "open door" policy with one neighbor's dog and we had to re-train the dog that we couldn't let it roam our house due to Colin's fear and our allergies.

And then came Maggie...

I remember the day I drove into our driveway and our other neighbor was in our side yard. There was this tiny black furry "thing" in the grass and the rest is history...

She wanted this dog, a sweet little Yorkshire Terrier, but was going to need some help caring for it because of her work schedule. I turned to Colin and told him to go get Kayla.

Kayla came out, met the puppy and immediately agreed to help raise it. And so Maggie came into our lives. At first we'd go to her house to let her out and to play with her. Gradually she'd come over for little visits. Now, she's here so much people thinks she's actually OUR dog!

Maggie is our "part-time" dog. She's the best of both worlds for us...she toggles between her house & ours like they're both her own. She spends the night with us when her owner is out of town, cuddles with us, celebrates holidays & special occasions with us, and has even adjusted to the arrival of Kayla's pet hedgehog. But she's still her owner's dog and gets very excited whenever she comes home from work no matter how long she's been away.

It's like having a niece, nephew or grandchild...all of the fun, none of the expense ;-).

And now I can't imagine a house without a dog! We miss her when she's not here, especially after she's been around for a few days. And she is so much a part of our lives we couldn't imagine getting a dog of our own and turning her life upside down like that so we'll enjoy her as long as she's around.

I blinked and she's 16

Sixteen years ago today, I became a parent.

Me.

The one who thought I didn't want children when I got married, and then thought I wanted five when I moved away from family to Richmond and met someone with a large family.

The one who'd never spent time around a newborn. The one family I regularly babysat for when I was a teenager always had their kids in bed before they went out at night. I was the youngest in my family so no little siblings to practice on. I didn't have nieces or nephews and Kayla was the first grandchild. I was the first of my close friends to have a baby. And Pierce is an only child.

We'd only been living in Richmond for a year. We had no family in town and just a small circle of friends from our new church (none with children.)

And along came Kayla...and somehow we survived and seemingly succeeded.

Pierce & I worked full-time, she went to a daycare center for 3 years then stayed with a neighbor for a year then hung out with my mother-in-law while going to preschool and then starting grade school. She was a girl scout, played soccer and still does well in school. Kayla is a traveler, an animal lover, a musician, and a baker. She's smart, independent, creative and tolerant.

And I can't wait to see what the next 16 years have in store for our little girl who will be graduating high school before we know it.

Friday Feast Nights Haywood-style

When Pierce & I were a young couple, Friday night's meant going to a local bar to share a pitcher of beer and chicken wings. Simple. Enjoyable. And something we could look forward to all week.

Well now we enjoy "happy hour Fridays" Haywood-style complete with cold beer (for the adult males), bar-type food usually, and family time.

First Colin usually hangs with friends after school. Kayla comes home and unwinds from her day, checks on her animals, and touches base with friends. Then my brother Skip joins us, typically for a round of hoops or wiffle ball to start the evening off right. On his way home from work, Pierce blasts his "Friday happy song" while I start preparing for our feast (tonight we're grilling Bubba Burgers and Colin will make smoothies later in the evening.)

And then we gather around the TV for Wheel of Fortune at 7pm (I am practicing for when I get called to go on the show) followed by hours of American Idol which we DVR'ed from Wednesday & Thursday. Someone always knows what happened, either intentionally (Kayla) or accidentally. It's hard to avoid the hype between news websites, Facebook and friends.

The night ends by me complaining my entire body hurts from eating too much AND sitting around too long! But boy do I look forward to Friday feast nights all day Friday!!!

♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ And my house it's not much to talk about
But it's filled with love
That's grown in southern ground

And a little bit of chicken fried
Cold beer on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio up ♪ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

May is "our" month, in case you didn't know...

May 1990 - Pierce & I met working together at Key Program in Pittsfield MA.
May 1991 - Pierce & I started "going out."
May 1992 - Pierce & I got engaged.
May 1993 - Pierce & I got married.
May 1994 - Pierce & I moved to Richmond VA.
May 1995 - Pierce & I welcomed our first child.
May 1996 - Pierce, Kayla & I moved into our first house.
May 1997 - We all took a break to enjoy our accomplishments!

Despite the annual life changes we experienced early in our marriage, or perhaps because of the stresses we experienced together...we'll be celebrating 18 years later this month as well as our daughter's sweet 16.

May also marks Mothers Day and Memorial Day (one of my personal favorites.) And lots of baseball tournaments so no worries, Colin is definitely not left out of the festivities!

I was born to live the simple life...

Happiness is...

• sitting in a comfy chair on a simple, open dock on a lake
  


• warm sunshine & refreshing breeze
  


• relaxing sound of calm waves against the dock & shore line
  


• having everything we need and little more to keep track of
  


• kids successfully fishing
  


• family hiking & letterboxing together & alone
  


• good read enjoyed from start to finish
  


• being 90% unplugged (100% would have been even better)
  


• half a tank of gas round-trip
  

Sweeping out the garage...

So far, that has been the highlight of my day, and by highlight I don't mean sarcastic at all. Yes, I am home on involuntary house arrest while the van is being repaired...and I HATE being stuck at home. I love being home, but there's just something about knowing I can't leave which makes the situation completely intolerable.

So I decided to tidy up the garage.

I emptied the ice chest from this weekend's neighborhood event. While I was at it, I also emptied the ice chest from this weekend's baseball tournament. OK, I also emptied the ice chest from the day trip to DC...yeah, we have a few ice chests and are pretty lazy about emptying them, but fortunately they all only held drinks and bags of ice (well...water now.)

I put all of the errant baseballs, footballs, ping pong balls and basketballs in their respective corners and stacked up all of the goodies we're collecting for our upcoming yard sale.

And then I swept the floor.

Colin keeps the garage door open while playing outside sometimes, and sometimes it's really windy when he does that, so I must have swept out an entire tree of leaves and petals. Plus dirt from cleats and snow boots.

And with that, I prepared the garage for another season of toting ice chests, playing ping-pong (because the table is almost cleared off once again), and tracking in dirt. And I feel like I actually accomplished something.

A year ago, we decided to close our business. The business which consumed our every minute. I am thankful now for the opportunity to savor moments like this...when I find sweeping the garage floor therapeutic as opposed to a distraction.

It would be easier to look for Sonic than a real hedgehog!

In case you haven't heard (which would mean you either live under a rock, aren't my Facebook friend, or have blocked my posts), we're in the process of finding a hedgehog for Kayla for her 16th birthday (yeah...the age of surprise birthday parties and gifts is apparently behind us.) So let me tell you what I've learned.

1. Searching for "hedgehog" on craigslists gets you lots of video games, a trimmer, and one hedgehog home (which we're planning to buy...which will prove to be the easiest part of this entire process.)


2. You can't just go to the pet store and pick one up the morning of said birthday. According to the local pet stores "yes, we do sell hedgehogs but we only get them occasionally, we never know when we're going to get them, and we already have a waiting list."


3. From what we've learned, we should be trying to get a hedgehog from a licensed breeder. Yes, licensed. By the USDA. As in the federal government. So in a bass ackward way, we the taxpayers are paying government employees to oversee the hedgehog industry.


4. To me, buying from a licensed breeder is much like buying a race horse; the selling point is that they track lineage to insure there's no inbreeding. I wonder who the "Secretariat" of hedgehogs is, because I really want one of her offspring! But, I also know that they handle the hedgehogs from birth and tend to provide happier hedgehogs, and isn't that what this is all about?!?!


5. Hedgehogs are not cheap. Our budget went from X to 2X and now 2X+T+M where T=time and M=mileage.


6. But it's not just about finding a breeder. We need to find a breeder who actually has a litter or one on the way, because apparently this isn't a year-round business. And, again, there are waiting lists. Plus you to have wait for them to be weened from their mothers (anywhere from 8-10 weeks.)


7. So off to hedgehogbreederalliance.org I go to find a local breeder. Silly me, I thought local would be Richmond. Turns out THERE ARE NO HEDGEHOG BREEDERS IN RICHMOND!!! As a matter of fact, there are only FOUR REGISTERED BREEDERS IN VIRGINIA. Good Lord this is not going to be an easy process.


8. So now we're in the process of finding a breeder within reasonable driving distance (and reasonable has begun to include parts of North Carolina) who has a litter which will be available sometime between now and the end of May because we want hedgie to be adjusted to it's new home before Kayla heads to Florida for her one week of summer vacation.

This is proving to be NEAR IMPOSSIBLE but I'm not about to give up at this point! What started out as a pro-active exercise assuring that we had Kayla's gift in time for her birthday has turned into a full-time job learning more than I ever wanted to know about the breeding habits of hedgies, creating a page of notes about various breeders & hedgehog availability, and accepting the fact that her birthday gift is likely going to be late.

But I've also learned that hedgehogs are adorable! I'm in love already, and haven't even found one yet. They are teeny tiny (especially when they're born) and I just know he/she is going to bring a lot of love into our house.

How one night changed everything

In September of 2000 I was working full time, had a 9-month-old baby, and my daughter had just started kindergarten at Echo Lake Elementary School. A flyer came home from school about Girl Scout Recruitment Night. I remember walking into the school cafeteria that night and thinking "I'm going to be a part of this." The part of the Girl Scout Promise "to serve God and my country" resonated with me.

Looking back, it is amazing to see just how much my life is still impacted by my involvement as an adult Girl Scout volunteer. I haven't been directly involved in Girl Scouts in a few years now but people still associate me with the organization and scouting in general (cub, girl & boy) because of the connections I made as a leader and service unit director.

It is amazing how the relationships formed through Girl Scouts are intertwined with my life. I have worked with fellow leaders in the "outside" world, socialize with them, volunteer with other organizations, etc. People call on me for scouting advice or contacts. Sitting in the stands at Tucker football games, I am surrounded by fellow Girl Scout leaders. I am comforted with the prospect of going to Holman Middle School next year knowing I am familiar with so many Springfield Park families because of my involvement in Girl Scouts.

Unbeknownst to me when I registered my daughter for Girl Scouts so many years ago, I was planting roots that would become MY community.

Are you listening?

God has spoken to me. I have no doubt. And it's happened more than once.

The first time that I remember God speaking to me I was in my bedroom one night standing beside my bed in our house in Dunncroft. It was in 2000 and I believe it was in August of that year. I still remember the warmth of His touch and the comfort of His guidance. His command was clear "ask her to forgive you." I was not afraid. I was excited! I was relieved.

A very dear friend of mine was going through a traumatic event and I wasn't there for her. I could list the many reasons I wasn't able to be there physically, but they were all excuses. Because of my absence when she needed me most, our lives were drifting apart and that didn't feel right. If it were only because our families were growing, interests were changing, and time was limited, I could accept the change. But I knew in my heart that I was letting this happen and it wasn't right.

That night, God put His hand on my right shoulder and told me: "ask her to forgive you." I went to sleep knowing what had to happen first thing the next morning.

Fortunately, circumstances happened that I was able to go to her house the very next day. And just as God had told me, I simply asked for her forgiveness. No excuses for my choices. No explanations. Just an apology for not being there for her and a request that she find it in her heart to forgive me. She did.

It's funny. Our families have since grown and our time is more limited than ever. But I always felt like our lives would intertwine again. We've stayed in touch as best as possible and sure enough, our interests are becoming similar once again, and soon enough our kids will even been in the same school. God works in mysterious ways. Thank God!

Some things never change...

Do you have any unusual household habits that seem so natural you don't think twice about them?

This is going back a few years, but I remember my good friend Sharon suggesting to my friend that they get us a set of dinner dishes as an engagement gift because we were using recycled containers (I think they were butter containers and the like.)

We didn't really mind using the recycled containers. Nowadays you could say were were being "green." But at the time, it was nice to receive our first official domestic gift.

But guess what!?!?! Come to find out, we STILL use butter containers on a regular basis! We use Country Crock and get it in the small tubs. We have a stack of those empty tubs in our cupboard and frequently use them for dry snacks - a handful of pretzels or dry cereal. I don't even think about it, but imagine I've gotten some weird looks from visitors and in-home employees the first time they saw me prancing around with a butter tub ;-).

And to those of you who bought me that first set of Corelle dishes, thank you for helping me into domestic adulthood. Now I use the butter containers because they're convenient, not because we can't afford real dishes ;-).

Do you ever wonder why some friendships end?

Have you read that "article" about friends coming into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime? I can't find the source, but found plenty of reprints online.

I fully agree and understand that some friendships are not forever (or that some remain forever in our heart even if we're not still in touch.) Ironically, Facebook has changed that philosophy a bit as some long lost friends have been brought back into our lives, so I guess we weren't fully done being friends yet. But it's obvious that some people will no longer be part of our lives once we've moved on from our commonality - be it school, job, neighborhood, church, etc.

Yet I have also experienced the end of some friendships that puzzle me to this day. Perhaps it was a misunderstanding that we could never quite straighten out, or lost contact information (because hard as I try, there are some people I simply can't find on the Internet!). Maybe it was social or parental influences or simply losing track of time and then losing track of each other. No matter the reason, I feel a void for those lost friendships and they're on my mind today.

Not Everything has to be "new & improved"!

Let's talk about the can strainer. Simple enough. A plastic disc with holes, insert it in your tuna can, flip can over sink, squeeze strainer against tuna and get practically all of the water or oil out of the tuna. We had one which looked much like this model for oh...a couple of decades before the plastic finally broke.



Thus started the surprisingly frustrating process of FINDING a new strainer. I can't seem to find one in the kitchen gadgets section. Couldn't even find one Bed Bath & Beyond (and yes I did ask for help.) Finally happened upon one in the candy aisle (or some other bizarre, unrelated section of the grocery store.) The new strainer looks like this:



I felt like I was modernizing my kitchen, until I realized this strainer SUCKS for the one & only thing we use it for...a large can of tuna! You see those handles??? They keep me from fitting the strainer all the way in and truly draining the tuna. And I hate soggy tuna! Are you kidding me???

So back to shopping I went and picked up this nifty strainer for all of $1.50 (once again found in a bizarre location like the cereal aisle):


This bad boy is adjustable. Just twist them apart or together for smaller or larger cans. Comes complete with instructions.


I'm satisfied with my new strainer, but concerned that the bells & whistles will only make it break much sooner than my old work horse.

Something tells me I could recreate this simple-simon strainer, market it to easy-to-find locations and charge $5 ;-)



Keep it simple people!!! Not everything needs newness or improvement ;-).

Rock Bottom?

I did not have a stellar day. Other than taking Kayla to the pediatricians (negative for strep) and remembering to up a gallon of milk, I don't feel as though much was accomplished. I managed to make a few phone calls but put off cleaning the kitchen. I hit rock bottom when I sat down with Colin to go over his grades and quickly fell asleep.

Tired? From what? Doing nothing? Eating like crap? A solid night's sleep? Pathetic!

Thankfully...I'm feeling better. I remembered a fun class at the gym that starts at 5:45 so I scrambled to tidy the kitchen and now I'm off to the gym for a fun dance class followed by an unexpected evening with friends.

Maybe my body needed the down day to appreciate life's highs. I much prefer the highs!

Scatterbrained

Sorry I haven't posted in over a week. Quite honestly, the one word to describe my days is "scatterbrained" though I don't think it's the same scattered brained as defined by freedictionary.com: "exhibiting or characterized by lack of serious thought or concentration; disorganized; silly."

It's not that I lack serious thought or concentration. As a matter of fact, it's quite the opposite. But after scattering my brain on different tasks and projects daily, I can't quite come up with one recurring theme to summarize the day.

So far this morning I've driven out to the east end, taken care of some business, gone to the grocery store, and discussed an order for Kayla's Cookies & Crumbs (I really need to update that blog too!!!) Not exactly sitting around with my feet up eating bon-bons, but also not life-altering.

One recurring theme in the past week has been friends. Bunko with the Carrington ladies, bunko with the SPES ladies, bunko with the Winterberry ladies, and maybe bunko with the ELES ladies. Checking in on friends going through rough times. Rallying with friends for good causes. Sharing things in common; learning from each others' differences.

I guess it's my ability to be scatterbrained which allows me to enjoy these many blessings. Yeah -- scatterbrained and I love it!

I think I'm obsessed...

...with hunting for bargains at the grocery storeSSS!

I am tracking every little penny, comparing prices at up to five different stores. Clipping coupons, scanning ads, visiting other savings-obsessed blogs and websites. And the sad thing is, I'm excited about it.

I see it as a process. Eventually I'll know where to go for the lowest prices (and whether it's really worth it to do so much driving around.)

This week's excitement:

1. I found out that if you use ONE COUPON from Costco's mailer, their system automatically activates all other coupons applicable to your order. I had a Costco coupon for pork chops (the BEST boneless pork chops!) I also bought a case of Mountain Dew but didn't realize there was a coupon in the mailer for Pepsi products. Sure enough...my receipt shows that they applied the $2 coupon WITHOUT ME SAYING A THING! Take that Michael's and your annoyingly frustrating coupon policy* ;-).

2. I've also recently learned that Target has "Target Internet Coupons" which can be used ALONG WITH A MANUFACTURERS COUPON on the same item. By the way, I ASSumed that Target would have higher prices on groceries; a couple of friends encouraged me to be more open minded. Sure enough, milk, Kayla's favorite cheese sticks, my nightly weakness and Cascade are significantly cheaper at Target...go figure.

3. I ordered an Entertainment book this week. I haven't bought one of those in years, but ordering one for $23 online (versus $35 at CVS) will pay me back the first time I take the kids to the batting cages & driving range at Bogey's Sports Park, so anything after that is a bonus!

*Don't get me wrong...I LOVE Michael's. But they have the lamist coupon policy. You can use one coupon at a time. Period. Meanwhile, Bed Bath & Beyond takes one coupon per item regardless of expiration date. CVS supposedly doesn't care about expiration dates either. And then there's Michael's, and perhaps that frustrates me the most because I typically buy higher-priced items there with some frequency (thanks to Kayla's Cookies & Crumbs.)

I have faith in my destiny

There are moments in my life where it is clear my destiny is laid out for me.

My brother was three years ahead of me in school so when he was a senior in high school I was a freshman. I remember going on a college tour of University of Delaware with him. I fell in love with the campus and just knew it was where I was going to go to school. For 3+ years there was no other school for me.

And then, in my senior year, I applied to University of Delaware...and SUNY Geneseo as my "back up." I was accepted to both. I still remember the moment I made the decision to go to SUNY Geneseo. After 3 years of thinking I knew where I was going, destiny stepped in. There are many things which have happened since that I believe would not have occurred had I gone to University of Delaware.

Growing up, my family traveled with trailer in tow every summer (or so it seemed.) We pulled our trailer across country, along the coast, and everywhere in between. I think I still remember the moment we were traveling through Virginia and it occurred to me I'd end up here eventually. To me, Virginia was plush green rolling hills and felt like "home." I still get that feeling when I drive on certain parts of I-95 (yet, I chose flat old Richmond, go figure.)

Relocating to Virginia was part of "the deal" when Pierce & I got married and we literally moved here after being married for just one year based solely on my desire. We arrived with no jobs, no friends or family in the area, and a 6-month lease paid in cash. That was almost seventeen years ago. It was our destiny.

Jobs I have had, friends I have made, place I have lived, opportunities I have explored all seem to be part of a predetermined course of events. I wonder how today will play out in my destiny...

Time may change me, but you can't trace time

Change is on my mind this morning. "Minor" annoyances when I'm quite happy with the old...like ever evolving cell phone technology, Facebook layouts, and 'systems' (taking a step back in time with Amazon after much success on eBay.) And more significant changes like the end of elementary school for our family, my future income means (notice that I didn't say work LOL), and sending a kid off to middle school now that I know what to expect (so naive when Kayla went to 6th grade...so naive.)

Some changes are exciting...I can't wait to see where Kayla's path takes her after high school. So many options she's considering. The world is her oyster.

Our holiday season is officially over now that Colin's birthday is behind us. The change from a decorated house and anticipation of celebrations to cold & dark days is a change I don't enjoy. Hopefully we'll be inundated with snow or spring will arrive quickly; it's the in between that brings me down.

Colin won't be playing rec ball for Glen Allen this spring. That's a change I'm having a very hard time with because it is all social for me. But I'm proud of him for making a mature decision to focus more intently on developing his skills with travel ball and recognizing there are limits to how much he can do in the course of a week while still being a kid.

I wonder what will change in the next week, month and year for our family. So thankful to have friends with us along the way.

This blog title is from David Bowie's song "Changes." Time may change me, but you can't trace time. You can't go back. There is no re-do button in life. Embrance the change and trust in the Lord to guide your way.

♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ Changes are taking the pace I'm going through. ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

My Village People

Yesterday was Colin's 11th birthday party. But really, looking back, it was so much more! It was coordinating the schedules of twelve families. It was team work. It was friend-filled...the best kind of day EVER!

You see, in order for one friend to attend, said friend had to go to another party-goers house beforehand and stay here afterwards while his family was at an out-of-town all day event. Some might call that "babysitting" or "carpooling"; my village calls it "good times!"

I don't think there was a single kid here who didn't have a sporting event the same day; not one baseball practice, basketball game, or gymnastics meet was missed! In fact, in order for one friend to attend, he came early, left during the party for his basketball game, and then came back to extend the celebrating into the evening.

The family that lives the closest had the craziest commute to the party because they were on the other side of town helping out a family member.

Even though the party officially ended at 3pm, parents & kids were still here chatting at 3:30. Dad's were catching up, mom's were checking in, friends were gathering.

The party melded friends from different places...we had kids from Colin's class, from his school, from his sports teams, etc. Yet you would never know that these kids didn't all know each other or that some parents were meeting each other for the very first time.

Add to all that, Kayla spent time "studying" with a friend in the evening.

It was my kind of day...a friend-filled day!

Heroic efforts...for a Beta fish?!?!

Background: Pierce decided to buy a Beta fish for his desk at work. He named the Beta "Alpha" and has had him for several months. Alpha has a nice little set up, is fed & receives clean water on a regular basis and Pierce likes to "play" with Alpha by posting a picture of another Beta on Alpha's bowl from time to time. (Male Beta fish are aggressive toward one another and this gets Alpha all riled up.) Alpha seems to enjoy their camaraderie too.

Pierce packs Alpha up and brings him home over long holiday weekends and recently decided to keep him home for an extended period between Christmas and mid-January due to the holidays and planned time off.

The Story: So two nights ago Colin & Pierce noticed that Alpha was hanging near the top of the water in his fish bowl...on his side. When I came to check things out I swore I'd watched him take his last breath (Alpha...not Pierce.) But alas he perked up and tried his hardest to swim around only to end up on the top on his side again.

I didn't give it much thought after that...until I went into the downstairs half-bath yesterday morning...and found Alpha in his bowl on the back of the toilet. He was still struggling. I seriously thought Pierce left him there for me to flush; that he couldn't bring himself to do it. Luckily ...I asked...

It turns out Pierce was up early looking for information on "Beta ailments" on Google. He thought Alpha might have had "swim bladder" and learned that he should have no food for a couple of days and be kept in a dark, warm environment for less stress. Less stress? He's a fish!!!

So we kept him on the back of the toilet in "The Cave" and opened the vent to warm things up...sure enough the sauna-like environment did him well and he's back to swimming vertically. Life is good that we can put time & concern into little Alpha.

How neatly do your pieces fit together?

Pierce & I were working on our new year's jigsaw puzzle last night and the more I got "into it", I realized that jigsaw puzzles are a lot like life, aren't they?

I was stumped by this one section that seemed like it should be so easy but no matter how many times I scanned the pieces, I couldn't see them for what they were. This went on for an hour. Sure, I'd find a piece that fit occasionally, but overall it was painstaking and stressful. But then, all of the sudden, they started fitting together easily. I started seeing the pieces for what they were, instead of what I thought they were supposed to be. Sometimes the pieces of our lives seem mismatched -- the demands of family, work, health, etc. all seem to be parts of different puzzles altogether, but eventually it all works out. Then you move on to the next puzzling section...

To me, the border pieces are our family. We might start the puzzle pulling out all the straight edges...the family we're born into including our ancestors. But there are also those pieces that are part of the overall process...the pieces we find along the way...our spouse, children, etc.

I always try to sort puzzle pieces by section -- maybe by color or background or something. Some of those sections fit together easily, others not so much, and then there are some that end up in the wrong pile...because everything fits together somehow and they're all connected in the end.

If your life were a jigsaw puzzle, what would the picture be?

Sunshine

I'm in the process of un-decorating the house from Christmas. We take a lot of our "home decor" down when Christmas decorations go up. So right now my living room looks much like it did when we moved in - no pictures hanging on the wall, empty mantle, etc. There's something so clean and fresh about a blank slate. Oh how I wish I had the patience and money to paint the walls while the room was in this condition. But, alas, today the pictures go back up and it will all feel like home once again.

I thought I liked this transition period. It gives me the opportunity to clean "behind the scenes" and appreciate what we've done to make our house our home. But what I learned yesterday is that I really miss Mr. Sunshine! The sun peeked through the clouds for a little while yesterday afternoon and THAT'S what lifted my spirits. Not the pictures on the wall, but the sunlight coming through the windows. I couldn't help but smile and share my excitement with a friend, and I was so glad the neighborhood boys were outside soaking in that warm, beautiful sunshine while they could.

Looking out my office window this morning, I see blue skies with wispy white clouds and a spot of sunshine on the leaves. It's going to be bright, sunshiny day. Enjoy.

Typical Monday

I set myself up for frustration yesterday. Now that I look back at the day, I'm glad it's all behind me. Maybe I should do that more often...put the less desirable tasks on top of the to-do list and altogether so that once they're taken care of I can relax. Of course, there are new frustrations to deal with today, end of year / business payroll taxes and dealing with customer service are behind me.

Taxes. Just tell me what I owe (or better yet, the government owes me.) I don't understand half the terminology. I don't remember what I did from one quarter to the next let alone one year to the next. I am so glad I didn't go to college for accounting! I took a "College Accounting" class in high school and did really well but I don't know what happened because now I despise budgets, taxes, financial anything. I can keep spreadsheets for groceries, Christmas, business, etc. but do not ask me to remember anything related to numbers. I'm serious. Just ask my brother or my husband. Alas, everything's signed, paid, off to the copier and then to the mailbox. Whew.

Then I had the opportunity to deal with technical "support" for a popular website. In the end, I knew more than they did. And I don't mean that boastfully. I don't know much. I know many people think I do, but what I know is to say "I don't know...let me see if I can find that out for you." Not these folks. They read from their scripts, make me call back when they don't reply after 9 hours and tell me I can't speak with a supervisor. Anything to avoid saying "I don't know." In the end, I was able to put 2 and 2 together and figure out the solution.

Today's a new day. Lots to be done. If I accomplish it all, I will feel terrific. If I don't, sleep will elude me. Off to get 'er done ;-).

Martin Luther meets Velocity Church

Sola Gratia ~ Sola Fide ~ Sola Deo Gloria ~ Sola Christo ~ Sola Scripturo

I was raised in the Lutheran church. Pierce & I were married at Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer in Peekskill NY. I credit Trinity Lutheran Church with establishing our roots in Richmond. Both kids were baptized there and we've been members since 1995. But several months ago as a family we decided to "shop around" and see if there was something out there that re-energized all four of us.

Stop one was Velocity Church. You know...the one that meets at Short Pump Regal Theatres. I mean really, how ideal is that?! Comfortable seating, casual dress code & environment and the smell of popcorn -- they even us popcorn buckets for collection plates. Add to that energetic music from a live band and a variety of media outlets to bring us God's message! So far we've heard the band's rendition of Journey, U2, Bo Diddly and more. We've watched funny clips from Elf, Everybody Loves Raymond, and Glee. And we've even played games! All while hearing God's message as part of an enthusiastic, open-minded community.

But my big question has been: "is there one right denomination?" Velocity is non-denominational, and I definitely feel that missing link. I miss saying The Lord's Prayer in unison, the warmth of communion wine as it fills my soul (they serve juice), confession and rituals I grew up with.

I asked God about the non-denominational thing during a stroll through Good Shepherd United Methodist's prayer labyrinth one night and He replied through hymn. The music playing in the background was a hymn I'd grown up singing in the Lutheran church; we all sing the same songs to the same God.

But my journey came full-circle this morning when Velocity's lesson was on Martin Luther's Reformation. You know...Luther as in LUTHERan? And it may have been the easiest teaching of the 5 Sola's of the Protestant Reformation I'd ever heard.

Grace Alone ~ Faith Alone ~ God Alone ~ Christ Alone ~ Scripture Alone

I recently felt the "peace that passes all understanding" and asked my friend Roxanne where that came from because I remembered it as a phrase from a Lutheran passage; it was repeated this morning at Velocity, as well as God's promise of hope despite our despair. We've all enjoyed our time at Velocity and don't intend to shop elsewhere anytime soon.

Life Changes Like the Weather

The word "yesterday" resonated when trying to decide on a name or theme for my blog. On Facebook, I live in the moment, posting what I'm thinking. Here, I want to reflect, looking at the bigger picture of the day before. What happened that changed my life, made me laugh, or made a difference?

I feel like my mantra going into 2011 is Albert Einstein's quote:

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

The first few weeks of January will be major to my future, thinking about where I've been, where I am, and where I am going. I'm travelling down a lost highway and hope to find new direction very soon.

What warms my heart? My husband and kids, my friends, my home, and Jon Bon Jovi's voice. So how fitting that when Googling "Yesterday Bon Jovi" I came across the lyrics to "Lost Highway." I sure as heck hope 2011 isn't a "Lost Highway" but a found direction. Hidden in the lyrics is the phrase

life changes like the weather.

Ain't that the truth?! Welcome to my blog...I hope you'll find this a place of refuge, learning & laughter.