Dining Out

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

Rather than wishing I had the money to go out to eat at any restaurant I want with Pierce tonight, I'm thankful for the family who knows we enjoy O'Charley's and indulged us with gift cards for Christmas. 

I'm thankful for the bartender Cheq who knows our orders and will start pouring the beer and mixing the Sangria before we take our seats.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to relax with my husband, talk about things going on with the family, and "people watch" with him beside me.

I'm thankful for the routine which makes me comfortable and content.

Date Night: Haywood-Style

Way back...before Kayla started elementary school and before Colin was born...I was working full time and had started a side business selling PartyLite Candles.

To help me juggle the paperwork-side of the business, Pierce started taking Kayla on scheduled "dates." That way, I knew she was having quality time with her dad and I could focus on business while they were gone and be more attentive when they came back home.

At the time, the dates probably consisted of dinner at McDonald's and maybe a visit to the local book store.

As time went on and our family expanded, "date night" became part of our family's tradition. When life was over-planned yet predictable, there was actually a schedule where Pierce would take Kayla out the first week of the month, Colin the second week of the month, and me the third of the month. The other week(s), Pierce got some time to himself ;-).

Now that life is completely booked and totally out of our control, both kids tend to think immediately of a date with dad on the rare night they don't have anything planned. We don't really keep track, so it may happen more than once a month, or a little more than a month between dates. But they still happen.

Pierce & Kayla enjoy trying a new dinner spot based on Kayla's recommendation. They'll often end up strolling through a pet store afterwards.

Pierce & Colin "wing it" based on Colin's mood.

Pierce & I? We get a date night EVERY WEEK now! Since January, Saturday has been our date night, unless there is a conflict. Our "go-to" is Applebee's. We sit at the bar, order dinner & drinks, and play "hockey" (a simple card game taught to us many years ago.) We have ventured elsewhere on occasion because of other plans coinciding with date night, or a couple to another restaurant ;-). Sometimes we'll go exploring afterwards, other times we'll head home to watch something on TV.

I am really proud of Pierce for instilling this tradition in our family, and hope it continues to years to come. As long as either kid is living near by, I think that making this effort to stay connected is invaluable.

What about Family Time? Every week! Family dinners are getting hard between work and sports. But every Friday the kids know we'll be home, likely order pizza or pick something up, and just relax. If they have other plans, that's ok; but they know we'll always be home on Friday night and they'll often chose to hang with us.

Neighbors: Bill & Lillian

We have been blessed by some pretty remarkable neighbors...

Our first apartment was in a house owned by Lillian. Lillian had a boyfriend named Bill who spent most of his time at Lillian's house. This was also where they ran their pre-cast business.

Our apartment was in the back of the house, so we'd see Bill & Lillian all of the time as we came and went walking past their business in the garage and such.

Over time, we got to know each other really well. They were pretty much our only friends in the Albany area other than coworkers, because we knew we weren't going to be there long and weren't interested in "planting roots." They gave us a bureau for our wedding which we still use & enjoy today.

We ended up living there for about three years. After moving from that apartment to Richmond, we continued to keep in touch via Christmas cards, but that's about it.

A few years ago we were travelling from the Pierce's family in northern NY to visit friends in the Hudson Valley. We drove through Albany and were going to drive right past the apartment. 

On a whim, we pulled into the parking lot, I knocked on Lillian's door, and she immediately recognized me. It was an awesome "homecoming"! We only stayed a few minutes but were able to introduce Lillian to our children, hear how she was doing, fill her in on our lives, etc. Unfortunately, Bill had developed dementia and was in a nursing home. That was really sad to hear as they had plans to move to Florida at some point and were such a terrific couple. I think they were both first generation immigrants, Lillian from France and Bill from Italy.

Road weary but full of smiles!

Our apartment was around back.

Former home of Turnpike Precast.

Fast forward Christmas 2013. I sent Lillian our annual Christmas card. Out of the blue, I received the nicest voice-mail from Lillian. She was so excited to see a picture of the kids and it was great to hear her French accent! I have saved that voice-mail and whenever I check my messages, I get to hear it again and again. It puts a smile on my face every time.

Ginny, Part 17: Our New Guardian Angel

There are moments in your life that change your behavior. Sometimes it subtle, and sometimes it's dramatic.

Do you remember how remarkably clear the blue skies were on September 11, 2001?

Every time I see clear blue skies, my mind goes back to that day. For a long time, the sight of an airplane in the sky also grabbed my attention and brought me back to that day. An airplane in flight still grabs my attention, but more reflective of how we've survived and thrived since the terrorist attacks.

Another example of this flashback is from when I was about 20 years old. I was driving my brand new car home from work and when I was involved in a pretty bad accident. My car was rear-ended by a pick up truck which pushed me into the car stopped in front of me and up onto the curb. I am always afraid of being rear-ended now and am quick to check my rear view mirror when coming to a stop. I'm more concerned about being rear-ended than rear-ending the car in front of me.

Well, ever since Ginny's accident, I've been very cognizant of the sky. Whenever it's bright blue with puffy white clouds, my thoughts go to Ginny. I envision her in the clouds. (The odd thing is, the sky on the day of her accident would have been overcast.)

On our road trip to Florida, there were many expanses of blue skies with puffy white clouds, so I had a lot of conversations with Ginny. I told her that I missed her and knew she'd be watching out for our house if she were still here. I felt like she was traveling with us and asked her to watch over us. I felt comforted knowing she was aware of our travel.

Sure enough, we ran into problems. We were in a congested area along I-95 and Kayla was driving when she noticed that the Tire Pressure warning light came on. We told her to pay attention to any repetitive noises or vibrations on the steering wheel, which began immediately. Kayla had to maneuver the car across three lanes and safely into the shoulder, which she did swiftly. Pierce got out of the car and inspected things; all four tires appeared fine and there was nothing concerning under the car. He took over the driving and got back on the highway.

We immediately heard what could best be described as a flapping sound coming from the tire directly behind me. Luckily, there was an exit just ahead and we were able to leave the highway safely. And, luckily there was a gas station with an air pump right at the bottom of the exit ramp. Pierce pulled the car in, got out, and could immediately see that the tire was low. Upon close inspection, we couldn't find the cause.

Pierce went to try to put some air in the tire only to discover the machine required four quarters. Would you believe there was a quarter right next to the damaged tire?!?! Kayla had three to bring us to an even four. As Pierce went to start the air machine, I discovered a screw in the tire. Remember, we had both just looked closely but something made me look again.

I immediately Googled the nearest Firestone. It was 5:30pm and Robert at that Firestone told me not to drive the car the 15 miles to his shop; that it wasn't safe. He referred me to Savannah Tire right around the corner from where we were but pointed out that they close at 6pm. Kudos to Robert for putting our safety first; he didn't have to refer us to another shop!

We hobbled the car over there slowly and carefully. The attendant wasn't optimistic: IF they could get it in and IF it was just the screw they MIGHT be able to patch it. If it wasn't patchable, they might not have the right tire in stock and the warehouse was already closed for the night. I asked him to be a little more hopeful.

He called in a mechanic who went right out to the car, pulled the tire off, and brought it in to show us.

We were very lucky! The screw in the tire was the least of our problems. We were fortunate that the tire hadn't blown out on the highway when we were going full speed! AND they had that exact same tire. The matching tire on the passenger side was beginning to show similar wear, so we went ahead and replaced both tires, using the only two they had in stock. And we were back on the road with two brand new tires by 6:20!

There are a lot of things that could have gone wrong. We could have had a terrible accident resulting from a blow out on the highway. We could have continued driving with a screw in the tire after filling it with air. We could have been stranded overnight waiting for the tire shop to open. But I'd like to think our guardian angel was watching over us, guided us to safety & help, let us know what the problem was, and allowed for a swift return to our journey. Thanks Gin!

Peanut Butter!!!

I just finished making a batch of peanut butter chocolate chip oatmeal cookies...yum! Unfortunately, I had to scrape the peanut butter jar and didn't have the full amount for the recipe, but that's because I loved giving the girls peanut butter as a special treat. If they were here tonight, they probably would have gotten the remaining peanut butter, and I would have opted for chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.

 

Ginny, Part 16: Unexpected Thoughts

Maggie and I took our last morning ride today.

I find it amazing the way God puts unexpected thoughts into our minds. As pre-occupied as I've been the last 24 hours with all the "lasts" with the girls (last dinner, last cuddle, last ride, etc.) the thought on my mind on the way to 7-Eleven was how special Ginny Doyle was and how fortunate I was that God gave us Maggie to bring us together.

(This is just my personal perspective and could be all wrong.)

Ginny was the youngest of four children. I only know "her side" of the story, but it seems to me that people knew she had athletic talent early on.

It appears to me that the Doyle family was united in supporting Ginny in her athletic endeavors. I've heard stories of Joe & Ginny practicing tennis & basketball together. I imagine they followed Ginny to tournaments, etc. They all know women's basketball in detail and I assume that has a lot to do with Ginny's involvement in the program throughout her life.

Even as an adult, Joe & Mrs. Doyle especially continued to follow Ginny's career to the extent of staying in town for extended visits in order to see a number of her games...as a coach. They also traveled along the upper east coast for some of her games. Families support each other throughout life, but you must admit that was pretty extensive for adult children / siblings. As I've told Joe, my brother lives with me and I don't know nearly as much about him as he knew about Ginny.

University of Richmond also knew Ginny was special. Assistant coaches usually leave a program when the head coach moves on, but University of Richmond held on to Ginny through at least three head coaches.

The outpouring of support the family and we have received since her passing further shows what a special lady Ginny was.

So, I firmly believe that God brought Maggie into our lives so that I could experience and appreciate Ginny. As I've said over the past six weeks, I'd rather have known Ginny and gone through this pain than to have never known her. Ginny gave so much of herself to my family and we will never forget her. She has left an impact on each of us which we will carry on to others in her honor. Thank you God for crossing our paths.

Ginny, Part 15: Trust II Each Other

To me, trust is unspoken. It's a feeling. Sometimes it's earned, other times it's assumed until something happens to break that trust. It's like love. You're born into a family and the love is assumed. But you learn to love non-family as you get to know them. Somehow, the trust between Ginny & us was natural. Nothing was done to earn it, except maybe the promise to take care of Maggie. It was never questioned, either way. Neither one of us ever questioned whether we'd watch out for each other, each other's houses, and each other's families; it was just natural.

I can't say for 100% certain, but I really think that the first time I went into Ginny's house was to check on Maggie and I was by myself. I remember the first time I walked into her house and the feeling of amazement at how nice, "magazine"-perfect her decor seemed to be. I just figured she was a "bachelorette" with a busy lifestyle and this was where she landed when she was in town, but she really created a beautiful, warm & welcoming home. I was a mom living in suburbia working from home and my house never looked so good! She even had dining room furniture...we still don't!

Anyway, like I said, I think she literally handed me a key the first day she left Maggie to go to work and trusted me to go into her house, take care of her dog, and lock up when I left. Can you imagine? Yes, we lived next door to each other so she could certainly find me if something went missing, but talk about entrusting me with everything that's valuable to her!

And so it went...I'd got into her house a few times a day to let Maggie out of her crate, let her outside, play with her in the house, then do it all again in a few hours. As time went on Maggie graduated from the crate to a section of her kitchen, to the whole kitchen, to the downstairs, and finally to full reign of the house.

If Ginny was running late at work, she knew all she had to do was text me and we'd check on Maggie some more. I would check out the front door every couple of hours to see if Ginny was home from work yet and if she wasn't we'd go check on the Moo.

The trust went both ways. When Maggie started spending her days at our house, we gave Ginny a key to our house. If she got home and it didn't appear like anyone was at our house, she'd let herself in and get the dogs.

I knew best that Ginny trusted us when she'd be on the road. She'd go a day or two without checking in, because she knew the girls were well taken care of. But I could tell when she was ready to come home because she'd check in to see how her girls were doing. Of course, I'd shoot her pictures or text her stories whenever there was something cute or monumental to share.

Her last act of trust in us was on her last day. I saw Ginny on Wednesday. She told me that she & the girls were going to Philly for Mother's Day weekend and would leave on Friday. Pierce saw her on Thursday and thanked him again for mowing her lawn while she was away the previous weekend. Nothing was mentioned about the hot air balloon ride to either of us.

When I left for work that Friday morning, I looked toward her house like I always did (and still do), saw that her car was gone and figured they'd hit the road for Philly already. It wasn't until after work when I got on social media that I learned she was at the hot air balloon festival. She was supposed to go up in the balloon early that morning and they postponed it until the evening. As best as I can tell, she never came home that day. Her family has learned that she went to work.

Ginny would have typically texted me to let me know she had gotten up especially early, which meant that the girls were fed early. She would have typically texted me to let me know she'd be gone so long. But it appears that she was so distracted by the excitement and perhaps anxious about the adventure that she never reached out to me. She knew she could trust me to take care of the girls while she was away from home and didn't give it a second thought. I wish I could take care of them for her forever.